Don’t ever let anyone tell you that your dreams are too big.
Leicester City winning the Premier League title is without a doubt, the greatest upset of all-time. Sorry David.
5000-1. And now, second to none.
Walt Disney couldn’t have scripted this feel good story. But now that it has been played out for Hollywood’s amusement, it’s time to cast the movie!
Potential film titles;
1) How The F#%^ Did This Happen?
2) It’s Lestor. Not Lyechester
3) For Fox Sake: Seriously. How The F#%^ Did This Happen?
CAST
Claudio Ranieri: Billy Crystal
Unconventional, I know. But you know The Tinkerman has a funny, but very unique side to him. And Crystal was fantastic as Magical Max in The Princess Bride! Got to admit, Bill Murray looks a spitting image at the moment though. Roberto Benigni was the easy, and stereotypical choice.
Riyad Mahrez: Wilmer Valderrama
It’s about time the world sees him as someone other than Fez.
Jamie Vardy: Joel McHale
Every episode of Community was a party.
Wes Morgan: Idris Elba
Perfect role to set him up to play James Bond.
Danny Drinkwater: Tom Hardy
Every character he plays is larger than life. With a name like that…
Robert Huth: David Coulthard
I know he’s not an actor, but you don’t really expect Huth to be very vocal in his scenes. They are the only human beings on the planet with that jawline! It you don’t think DC fits the part, then only Liam Neeson will do. Did you see him run in Taken 3? Looks just like Huth.
Marc Albrighton: Eddie Redmayne
Every actor looks better than the person they are portraying. Even if it’s only a little bit.
Christian Fuchs: Ryan Reynolds
The Austrian is one of the biggest personalities in that room.
N’Golo Kante: Taye Diggs
Because, the perfect supporting character should be played by an experienced supporting actor.
Leo Ulloa: Javier Bardem
Was so explosive as the funny looking psychopath in that Bond film.
Danny Simpson: The Rock
Bit of a compliment for Simpson. But DJ already has all the tats.
Shinji Okazaki: Daniel Dae Kim
Literally just to rescue the guy from Hawaii Five-0. How is that show still on the air?
Nathan Dyer: Harold Parenyo (from Lost & Sons of Anarchy)
Nigel Pearson:…?
Vinnie F#%^ing Jones! Like you really had to think about that.
Of course there are other key figures needed to play out this unbelievable story. If you haven’t noticed, this flick has a PSG type budget.
Arsene Wenger: Ian McKellan.
Wenger has always been very Magnetto-like. McKellan would also play Martin Tyler.
Harry Kane: Liam Hemsworth
Jürgen Klopp: Michael Fassbender
Looked pretty damn good as Steve Jobs. Klopp is basically the same person.
Wayne Rooney: Michael Rooker (Merle from TWD)
Marcus Rashford: Michael B Jordan
Andy Carroll: Chris Hemsworth
Carroll is basically the James Hunt of soccer anyway.
Fergie: Michael Caine
Because you know they both feel entitled to be a part of this movie. Just because.
I have to give a big shoutout to my friend and colleague Andrew Webster for helping me cast some crucial roles. You have a front row seat, and free popcorn to the red carpet premiere. Except, it will be a blue carpet premier.
Dunlop's Daily Dose 
I know this isn’t a real movie or whatnot, but I strongly disagree with choosing a Hispanic actor for an Arab role. That kind of erasure is really problematic, and leads to movies like Gods of Egypt and Exodus having a bunch of white guys playing Arabs. At the very least you could have gone with someone like Kayvan Novak, who is at least of Iranian descent and so, while not an Arab, at least is closer than your Columbian/Venezuelan suggestion.
Fair point. I was unfamiliar with Kayvan Novak, and wanted names readers would know without having to google the actors. As was the problem when we spoke about this topic on the podcast
Ya, I hear you. Sadly, because not enough Arabs (or Persians, or South Asians, etc) get decent roles, they’re never big names, so they never get the next role, in this disappointing cycle. I had considered suggesting Rami Malek, because he is of Arab descent, well known, and amazing, but he doesn’t really look like Mahrez. Kayvan Novak (who was a delight in the surprisingly great Four Lions) does.
I’m a little behind on the podcast (mp3 player problems), but ya, that does make sense, especially with the audio format.