5 Things We Learned From The Prem After Matchweek 1

Saturday mornings used to be the most enjoyable part of my week.

Now, I feel like I’m watching my ex-girlfriend. She’s moved on with her life. She hangs with a completely different crowd now. And to be honest, she’s sexier than ever. While I wake up early Saturday mornings, to follow live tweets about a visit from Rotherham, or a trip to Huddersfield. #LifeAfterRelegation

Having spilled my feelings and bitterness to you, here are the five things we learned from a thrilling opening weekend to the 2016/17 Premier League season.

1) Conte figured out how to sell soccer to Americans
It didn’t work when Will Ferrell and Mike Ditka tried it in the highly underrated cult classic Kicking & Screaming. But 4-2-4 is the formation that continually teases the audience “there’s going to be a goal here!” Antonio Conte got his winner courtesy of a hungry, and mildly less petulant, Diego Costa.

Chelsea very much look like a team prepared to wear down their opponents over the course of a match, and pounce when the time is right. How Italian of them. They won’t win matches by many goals, but they will win many matches.

Watching Eden Hazard and Willian come off in a 1-1 game must have had most Chelsea fans thinking, “oh God. This guy’s just happy to win one point on his debut!” But all three subs looked inspired and really upped the pressure on West Ham‘s tired defense. I didn’t think we’d ever see Victor Moses in a Chelsea shirt again. He didn’t look half bad! And I’m talking about his play! Those Chelsea tops are awful.

Chelsea probably could have been more creative. Despite James Collins‘ fine equaliser, West Ham really didn’t seem up for it Monday night. Conte’s side would have had the opportunity to create more chances with Cesc Fabregas on the pitch instead of one of either N’Golo Kanté or Nemanja Matic.

Lucky for Conte, he’s got about 55 more matches to play around with things.

2) Man United have got their swagger back
We knew Manchester United would be a different side with José Mourinho running the show. And while it was just the season opener away to Bournemouth, it was clear to see that United have this aura about them that they haven’t had since winning the title three years ago. Scary to think what they’ll look like once Paul Pogba reintegrates himself back in to the team.

You can already see Zlatan Ibrahimovic‘s confidence wearing off on his teammates. In two matches now, they’ve played with a composure that was rarely noticeable under LVG.  Wayne Rooney wasn’t all that impressive, but he’s certainly been worse and if he gets his name on the scoresheet every time he plays a match like that, he’s going to keep his place in the side.

3) Wenger will panic buy on Deadline Day
Have we unknowingly stumbled on to a near decade-long conspiracy where Arsene Wenger leaves all his business until the last few days of the window so that Sky Sports can keep “Jim White Day” going?

I can’t remember the last time I didn’t read or hear “injury crisis” and “Arsenal” in the same sentence.  There’s a great game show brewing at The Emirates: “who’s this guy you’ve never heard of before in Wenger’s XI?” That game works for reading transfer rumours as well.

Buckle up and prepare to read endless unknowns from the lesser televised regions of Europe linked with a move to the Gunners. Or, maybe Wenger will just wait for captain Per Mertesacker to return from injury in five months.

Certainly Rob Holding deserved a better debut than that? Word was Francis Coquelin had been training next to Callum Chambers in pre-season. That could be the centreback pairing when Arsenal visit champions Leicester in Saturday’s late kickoff.

4) Children’s crests are SO in right now
Not to enrage all you Manchester City and West Ham supporters. You’re an incredibly passionate and loyal bunch. Your teams have real history and tradition. So why on earth have the badges become so simplistic they look like they were designed on Snapchat?

5) Hull will not be relegated on zero points
Fueled by the last placed predictions of everyone from Hull to Hong Kong, and the presence of the champions in the first Premier League match of this new season, the Tigers showed us that magic isn’t reserved simply for Leicester. I thought a Leicester win was the lock of the weekend. Clearly I know nothing. And Claudio Ranieri meant it when he said, “staying up is the focus.”

NOTABLE MENTION
Pep Guardiola doesn’t have the Hart for Shrewsbury Joe. Really don’t know why he would wait til the start of the season to send that message to Hart, everyone watching, and most importantly, clubs with a goalkeeper to sell. Willy Caballero will do the trick for now. He genuinely appears to relish the role of sweeper keeper. But expect a bigger name to walk in to The Etihad before the window closes.

Jürgen Klopp didn’t realise he hired his doppelgänger when he convinced fitness coach Andreas Kornmayer to trade Bavaria for Merseyside. Or, more likely, Klopp knew that having Kornmayer around would help protect him from angry players and fans when these three-a-day training sessions put half the squad on the disabled list. One of them must drive a Saab still, right? #ArchitectsGlasses

Watch out Gary Lineker: Andy Townsend is coming for you mate! And he didn’t even need to take his clothes off.

I really enjoyed the Premier League Productions ‘Matchday Live’ half-time and post-match set up with just Townsend and former Canadian Owen Hargreaves standing in a poshy looking footballer’s cottage, speaking about Chelsea and West Ham like a couple of pros just bantering All that was missing was a couple of pints on that monitor/table. Though now that hosts have been replaced from host-worthy analysts, I better re-start the “backup” career plans…

2016/17 Premier League season preview (1-5)

5) ARSENAL
This is the year Arsene Wenger doesn’t win his “fourth place trophy.” And the Frenchman has absolutely no one to blame but himself.

The Gunners seem willing to spend more and more every window, but they don’t. Partly because they aren’t willing to overpay, leave that to team’s like Juventus. But increasingly because Arsenal is not the attractive destination it should be. London and playing in the Champions League have plenty of appeal yes, but finishing second last year was as damaging to Arsenal’s ambitions as any finish since Wenger arrived.

As unfair as it may be, with Chelsea, United and City‘s inabilities last season the title was Arsenal’s to lose. And that they did.

Granit Xhaka is a nifty player, but not what they needed. Defensively Arsenal could be in as much trouble to start this year as they were that season they bought Per Mertesacker and that fat Brasilian on the final day of the summer window. On paper this is a top side. But why gamble again that Jack Wilshere, Theo Walcott, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Danny Welbeck and Santi Cazorla will be fit to contribute for any more than a COMBINED 38 matches?

Mesut Özil and Alexis Sanchez are unfairly forced to carry too much of the load, while Olivier Giroud is being set up to fail. And most Gooners will tell you he doesn’t need any help with that.

This is supposed to be Wenger’s last season at The Emirates, and by the end of it I think he will regret not retiring after that second FA Cup win.

4) TOTTENHAM
Finishing above Arsenal is the equivalent of winning the league, isn’t it?

For months I critised Tottenham for “playing above their weight” and slammed their inconsistencies. I didn’t come around until it was actually a two horse title race. I was happy at that point to admit I was completely wrong. But how did Spurs finish the season? By looking exactly like a team that had been playing better than they really were for months and couldn’t cut it in the end with the pressure as high as could be. They will never get that close again. But, the future looks fantastic.

Preparing to open a new 60,000 seat stadium moreso than having learned from wasteful purchases, Daniel Levy was unusually quiet this summer. Reading Mauricio Pochettino‘s quotes this pre-season, the Argentine thinks he has best team Tottenham have ever put out on the pitch. He wanted Victor Wanyama last season, and now he’s got him, increasing squad depth while making Spurs more difficult to score on. 22 year old Vincent Janssen joined from AZ Alkmaar for a pricey £17 million but should take some of the scoring load off Harry Kane. Both seem like “very” Pochettino purchases, which might explain why head of recruitment Paul Mitchell quit.

Champions League nights at Wembley will be a real treat for the Spurs faithful.

Eric Dier should follow up his coming-out season with an even better campaign, having had a great experience at Euro 2016. While Kane and Deli Alli will hope to play as well as they did in a Spurs shirt last season, and nothing like the way they played with an England one on.

This is England’s team. Maybe that’s why I’m not sold?

3) MANCHESTER CITY
Sheikh Mansour made no secret of the Abu Dhabi United’s Group’s intentions when they purchased Manchester City and changed the landscape of English football overnight. This is what they were building towards. This is the dream they envisioned. I don’t know if this was the squad Pep thought he would have to work with when he accepted the job last winter, but so be it.

This will be Pep Guardiola‘s toughest challenge yet. When he arrived at Bayern he inherited treble winners. At City, he has inherited a very expensive collection of players and assembled a fantasy football XI. İlkay Gündoğan will be an instant superstar, if he can actually string together a good run of matches. Nolito showed his worth during Spain’s brief run at Euro 2016. Clearly management thought if they paid £50 million they would get the John Stones from 2014/15, and not the one that played last season and probably isn’t worth half that. But hey, at least Martin Demichelis is gone!

Kevin De Bruyne is the perfect player to build a team around. Sergio Agüero might be the best (proper) striker Pep has ever had. David Silva should flourish, and Pep might actually be able to get the best out of Jesus Navas.

Mistake-free possession football might never be a thing at The Etihad this season. But as long as City challenge for the title and build off a hugely impressive Champions League semi-final appearance, Mansour’s master plan will continue to move in the right direction.

And at the risk of never being served a drink at the Man City Supporters Club of Toronto again, why did they change the crest? It looks like a children’s team logo.

2) MANCHESTER UNITED
Let the José Mourinho era begin! The Special One was given his dream job and wasted little time inspiring the fan-base with the feeling that winning would return to Old Trafford. Spending £89 million on one player will do that.

Even before Paul Pogba arrived, I had picked Manchester United in my Top 3. They were close to a Champions League place last season, playing under a manager that never once knew what he wanted. Mourinho only wants to win, and doesn’t care what it takes to do it. He will quickly have to find the best use for Pogba, because the Frenchman’s place has such a ripple effect on the entire squad. Playing him on the wing with Wayne Rooney employed behind new boy Zlatan Ibahimovic serving as the lone striker may be the best option. But that leaves Henrikh Mkhitaryan out, and that might be José’s biggest headache this season. Well, that and the Manchester media following him around town.

I wonder what Mourinho thinks of the statisticians at the University of Salford that used math to conclude the signings of Pogba and Ibra were worth 10 more points. Their tests revealed the pair increased United’s chances of winning the title by 4%. You know what everyone always says, “the Premier League needs more math!”

It’s funny to read so much of criticism of Ibrahimovic, that he doesn’t have much left in the tank. He climbed up over Wes Morgan with ease to get his head on that Community Shield winning goal. The only player stronger than Morgan I think, is his Leicester teammate Jeffrey Schlupp. Ibra scored 38 league goals last season. Surely he can bag 15 in his Premier League debut season.

I expect to see a very different Mourinho this year. One that isn’t as quick to make headlines. One that selectively picks fights with his rivals. From an entertainment perspective, this could be the most boring year with Mourinho working in the Premier League. But that’s strictly off the pitch and between matches. On the pitch, United will be “must watch TV” every single week.

1) CHELSEA
This really wasn’t an easy choice for me. I sat and debated for the longest time. But in the end, Antonio Conte is the ultimate X-factor. He has made a career of getting new jobs because of his ability to achieve success, with very little at his disposal. Have you seen Chelsea‘s back-line?

This is an aging squad that grossly underachieved for half of last season. But if there’s a man to get Eden Hazard, Diego Costa, Cesc Fabregas and Nemanja Matic to play to their full potential, it’s absolutely Antonio Conte.

Hazard looked inspired and hungry in pre-season. Perhaps fueled by Belgium‘s disappointment at Euro 2016? Great player to have in your side. Costa knows he is on a short leash and this is his last opportunity to keep his big paycheque. Fabregas still has the quality to be one of the best midfielders in the Premier League. And it looks like he also shares the same “hair guy” as his new manager?

It’s a good thing Conte has the best hair plugs in the world because Chelsea’s defense is likely to stress him out a bit. As always he will rely on a back three. N’Golo Kanté, Matic and Thibaut Courtois may find it tiring to play four men down every Saturday.

Jokes aside, defense is Chelsea’s biggest weakness heading in to this season. But for all John Terry and Gary Cahill‘s faults, they can succeed with the simplified system Conte will employ. That’s what Kanté brings and why he was such a priority. £32 million will prove to be a bargain.

The price paid for Michy Batshuayi surprised many, and so will his play this year. The Belgian was an unknown to anyone but avid Ligue 1 viewers before Euro 2016. He’s 22-years-old, still very much a raw talent and was the fourth leading goalscorer in France last season, potting 17 for Marseille. Forwards from L’OM have a history of playing well at Stamford Bridge. They do not need to overpay to bring Romelu Lukaku back.

Roman Abramovich took a big risk appointing Conte. This is a man that happily confronted disapproving Ultras while managing Atalanta. He is afraid of nothing, except maybe failure. But he hasn’t experienced that in years. Tip for Chelsea’s Ultras: don’t mess with Conte!

Thanks for reading my 2016/17 Premier League season preview series! Be sure to listen to the weekly Soccer Central podcast. Follow me on twitter, instagram and SnapChat: @brendan_dunlop

2016/17 Premier League season preview (6-10)

10) STOKE
Since Mark Hughes took charge three years ago, they’ve become a team you’re surprised to see outside of the Top 12 at any point in the season. While The Potters have evolved to become strong Premier League regulars, the gap between them and teams chasing European places continues to grow. That’s not a hit on Stoke, but a fourth straight ninth place finish might be just out of reach this season.

Even with the additions of Xherdan Shaqiri, Bojan Krkic, Marko Arnautovic and Ibrahim Affellay, Stoke potted just 41 goals last season. Barring injuries, Affellay was quite unlucky last year, that number should increase this season. The addition of someone like Saido Berahino would certainly help, but Stoke’s efforts to free the 23-year-old from West Brom have gone for naught.

If Stoke can avoid their usual slow start to the season, they might just be strong enough to finish a couple of places higher should the bigger clubs not play to their potential.

9) EVERTON
When was the last time Everton started a season with this much confidence?

Luring Ronald Koeman seemed quite easy. With the ambition and investment on the blue side of Merseyside now, one can see why. Koeman will take home twice what he made on the south coast, a cool £6 million a year. And work under one of the men responsible for Leicester‘s remarkable title run, after Steve Walsh left The Foxes to become The Toffees first director of football.

Everton expected to lose John Stones eventually. No one could’ve expected any club to pay £50 million for him after the season he had last year. The Toffees have been able to reject massive bids for Romelu Lukaku, while spending to bring in Wales captain Ashley Williams, and Idrissa Gueye from Aston Villa who was one of very few bright spots for the relegated side last season.

This team has holes, but are guaranteed to be better defensively than the Roberto Martinez side that finished 11th. That alone should be worth 10 more points.

8) WEST HAM
New digs. New crest. New record signing. And Slaven Bilic says he’d still like five more players! Hammers supporters have plenty to be excited about this year.

The Hammers would have been the best story in the Premier League last season, had it not been for Leicester’s unthinkable title run. West Ham will be even more enjoyable to watch this season.

£20 million for Andre Ayew may seem like a lot when he doesn’t fit in to Bilic’s 4-2-3-1. Andy Carroll remains the first choice number nine, but he’s likely to only play nine league matches so it’s nice to have options. Sofiane Feghouli joins from Valencia to make West Ham’s right side nearly as deadly as the left, with Dmitri Payet working his magic in front of the incredibly underrated Aaron Cresswell.

Ownership has Champions League aspirations, and they may get there soon. But not this year.

7) LEICESTER CITY
Last season was truly magical. The Foxes claimed the title of “best underdog story of all time.” They inspired little clubs everywhere, and Claudio Ranieri must have had a proud father’s grin on his face every time he read a story describing Iceland as “the Leicester of The Euros!” But how can you match last season? You can’t.

Surely Ranieri doesn’t actually believe himself when he says this summer, “the goal is to stay up.” His level head is what lead Leicester through the marathon last year. Although maybe he’s had a look at the bookies lists. How disrespectful that Leicester are 14-1 to go down, but 33-1 to repeat!

The Foxes have spent an incredibly modest £27.5 million on four players this summer. Considering N’Golo Kanté went to Chelsea for £30 million, I thought surely Ranieri would go on a £50 million shopping spree. But that’s not Leicester’s style, and that’s ok. They just will not be able to fight wars on multiple fronts.

Leicester used just 27 different starting lineups last season. That was second-fewest among Premier League champions. The schedule will be grueling this fall. Injuries are bound to plague Leicester this time around. Ranieri is going to have become The Tinkerman again. They are considerably deeper than last season, but his squad just isn’t deep enough.

Ahmed Musa looks to be a great signing already, and Ranieri is confident Nampalys Mendy will be a suitable replacement for Kanté having worked with him at Monaco. This is before Mendy left for Nice and became club captain at the age of just 22. Now 24, no player will be under the microscope more in the first half of this season than Mendy. He declined a move to Manchester United to join new Saints boss Claude Puel at Nice three years ago. Now, he’s a £13 million man.

Keeping Jamie Vardy, Kasper Schmeichel and Danny Drinkwater is the equivalent of spending £125 million on new players because that’s surely what they would have gone for. But if Riyad Mahrez does leave before the window closes, it will have a massive ripple effect on the entire squad that will already struggle without Kanté.

6) LIVERPOOL
Many seem to think a full season with Jürgen Klopp at the helm will power Liverpool back in to the Top 4. They are close, and should be much better than they were for much of last season. But the Reds just aren’t there yet.

Losing the Europa League final may yet turn out to be a blessing. The lure of Champions League football would have helped their business in the transfer window this summer, but it would have seen them forced to pay a premium and this squad still isn’t good enough to challenge on multiple fronts.

With Sadio Mané running around opposing defenders, Liverpool are far more balanced than they were last season. Georginio Wijnaldum is exactly the type of player that would have thrived at Klopp’s Dortmund. If he can find some consistency, he can be one of the most dangerous players in the Premier League. Much like Daniel Sturridge who is likely to spend even more time on the trainer’s table given the intensity of Klopp’s training sessions. They’re doing three-a-days! Who does that? Klopp couldn’t get Mario Götze from Bayern Munich, but he did lure their fitness coach and nutritionist to Anfield with praise from the German press. Liverpool players are reported to be, surviving and better fed.

I am excited for Liverpool fans this season. This team is capable of taking points off their rivals above them. Will Klopp endure a sixth consecutive cup final defeat? I don’t know if his heart can handle it.

Be sure to check back soon. My Top 5 predictions blog is coming later today!

2016/17 Premier League season preview (11-15)

15) SWANSEA
It seems every year that the Swans are a bit of an enigma. Last season Garry Monk wasn’t given long enough to solve things. In comes Francesco Guidolin and while he started with a bang, Swansea fizzled out to finish 12th.

This year the question is, can the new acquisitions replace the key pieces lost? After Wales surprised at Euro 2016, captain Ashley Williams was bound to leave, and did for Everton. The Swans pocketed a cool £20.5 million for Andre Ayew, then eagerly turned around and spent a club record £15.5 million on 23-year-old Borja Bastón.

If you’re thinking, “I’ve watched enough of Atletico Madrid over the last few years, I’ve never heard of this guy.” That’s because he spent the last five seasons on loan. But having scored 18 La Liga goals at Eibar last year, and 22 at Real Zaragoza the season before, you can see why Huw Jenkins was willing to spend the cash. Which really shows plenty of ambition, having already signed European champion and World Cup winner Fernando Llorente from Sevilla. The forgotten Spaniard scored four times in just 14 starts last season. Playing behind Kevin Gameiro, that’s not a fair reflection of what Llorente has left in the tank.

But spending money doesn’t guarantee success. This squad seems like more of a random collection of players than the cohesive units that Swansea have rolled out in years past. It’s nice to start the season v Burnley, because I feel like this will be a long one for Franky G & co.

14) WEST BROM
The Baggies were happy to take that Chinese money this summer, but their offseason takeover may have stalled Tony Pulis‘ improvement plans. What continues to stall Saido Berahino‘s exit, I do not understand. Maybe West Brom take pleasure in denying the 23-year-old a pre-season with his new club? I don’t fault them for that.

Matt Phillips came over from QPR, and should do well to support Salomón Rondón. Their attack needs to be better. West Brom won’t get away with scoring just four times over their final nine matches if the table is as tight as it was last season. The midfield is old. The backline is tired. This is a really boring team.

But that’s exactly the way Tony Pulis likes it. And what have we learned about Tony Pulis? He does just enough to get the results that will keep you up. And with the TV money that’s going around, that’s the Champions League trophy in the Midlands.

13) SOUTHAMPTON
You cannot lose your best players AND manager, year after year and continue to finish in the Top 10 in the best league in the world.

Southampton finished three points off a Champions League place last season and still couldn’t keep their best. Liverpool happily splashed £30 million for Sadio Mané. Old boss Mauricio Pochettino swooned Victor Wanyama to Tottenham for £11 million. And it really didn’t matter what Ralph Krueger was willing to do for Graziano Pellè. Ya can’t beat the Chinese.

Claude Puel seems like the perfect replacement though. Beloved in France as a “builder”, he’s willing to give young players a chance. Enjoys attractive football. Nearly got Nice, a team with considerably less resources than the giants they chase every season, in to the Champions League last season. Fits the Southampton model very well, really.

Their backline remains the same, and now boasts two European champions in captain José Fonte and right-back Cédric Soares. Ryan Bertrand made my Best XI at the end of last season. If Charlie Austin and Shane Long can combine for at least 25 goals, Southampton will manage. But the heights of last season are out of reach.

12) MIDDLESBROUGH
The Teessiders are back in the big time and Aitor Karanka wants you to know it!

After walking out on the club last season, one would assume Mourinho‘s former #2 is on a short leash. He’s surrounded himself with players he can comfortably freak out on in his native language. Five of Boro’s nine summer signings, and there could still be more, are Spanish speaking. Victor Valdés is out to prove he can still play at the top level and gives Boro a great chance to stay in every match. But Dutch central midfielder Marten de Roon has anyone that enjoys bone crunching tackles excited. His £12 million move from Atalanta was a bit of a coup.

Few strikers are worth £100,000 a week, but Álvaro Negredo convinced Boro after his time at Manchester City that he is one of them. £9 million for a player with that potential is an absolute steal. Linking up with Gaston Ramirez, Boro could steal plenty of points off opponents that become complacent late on.

11) SUNDERLAND
For the first time in years, there is one standout feeling at the Stadium of Light: stability. And that is a good thing for both Sunderland and David Moyes.

The club’s carousel of managers over the last few years has made the Serie A look normal. Moyes is the seventh in the last five seasons. And while this is his third club in the last four years, this is the first job to best suit his skill set since Everton. That alone leads me to believe he’ll be alright this time around. If he can’t get something out of Jack Rodwell, no one can.

Gone are Steven Fletcher, Wes Brown, Ola Toivonen, Adam Matthews, Santiago Vergini, Danny Graham and Will Buckley. But so too is Emmanuel Giaccherini and I don’t think you need to be a Sunderland fan to have wanted to see what he might do in the Premier League after a stellar Euro.

Yes, on paper this team is worse than the one that barely stayed up last season. But with Moyes in charge, whoever the eleven men on the pitch may be, will have to give their all and bleed for this club. That’s something they haven’t had in years. So I guess I’m betting against the odds and giving Moyes the benefit of the doubt, something he deserves after all his years of overachieving with Everton.

Be sure to check back soon. Predicted finishes 6-10 coming next

2016/17 Premier League season preview (16-20)

20) BURNLEY
I have a hard time immediately writing off newly promoted champions. Winning the League Championship is as difficult as winning the Champions League. However, few are as naive as The Clarets seem to be this season.

Their best addition this summer was brand new flood lights, at one of the worst grounds in football. I’m serious. Apparently they’re 11 meters taller than the last ones. Better for 4K broadcasts? Sorry Jon Flanagan.

Several promoted sides begin a top flight season without having made a key signing. Few are actually worse than the team that won promotion. The Burnley that was relegated two years ago on 33 points, wasn’t half bad. And it took til November to win their first match! They will be lucky to win five matches with this squad.

Joey Barton chose the Scottish Premiership after being allowed to leave on a free transfer. I haven’t seen anyone really raving about Nick Pope or JB Gudmundsson. Well, apart from all the hipsters that fell in love with Gudmundsson’s Iceland at Euro 2016.

All the pressure falls on the shoulders of last year’s Championship Player of the Year Andre Gray. He cost an initial £6 million last summer. But ownership won’t open the chequebook now? They will regret it.

19) HULL CITY
Hull would have been relegation favourites even with Steve Bruce in charge on matchday 1. The only reason I’ve picked them to finish ahead of Burnley is experience. Though they’ll start their relegation battle without four notable players.

Michael Dawson will be out for three months. Right-back Moses Odubajo, goalkeeper Allan McGregor and centreback Alex Bruce are each six months away from pulling on that black and yellow shirt. Without Dad around, will Bruce get another minute? Oh, did I mention that Mohamed Diamé left for Newcastle? You know you’re club is in bad shape when you have goal scorers that would rather stay in the championship than come up, without a chance.

I feel for Tigers supporters. Martin O’Neill left Aston Villa in a very similar situation six years ago, and Villa never recovered. While MON wasn’t able to keep the players he wanted, at least he was able to buy a few. Hull have spent just £200k all year, on reserve goalkeeper Dusan Kuciak from Legia Warsaw. And that purchase was made in January!

Hull might very well have new, presumably anxious to spend, American owners before they even employ Bruce’s replacement. But by the time the January transfer window rolls around, Hull will have put themselves too far back.

18) BOURNEMOUTH
I don’t think I’ll anger any Bournemouth supporters by saying they won’t top the highs of last season. Winning at Stamford Bridge. Beating Manchester United at Dean Court, is the stuff dreams are made of. Eddie Howe has the dream to be England boss, but that will have to wait. I bet Jordan Ibe never dreamed someone would pay £15 million for him, but the Cherries made the former Liverpool starlet their prized signing of the summer. Good player for a squad like this, but he may not be able to outperform that price tag hanging over his head.

Five others have joined the club, while a pair of important pieces have quit the project with the hopes of winning promotion for bigger names. Tommy Elphick left for Villa and Matt Ritchie traded the south coast for the northeast. But Howe is quite smitten about £5.4 million signing, France Under-20 striker, Lys Mousset from Le Havre. They’ve produced a couple of decent Premier Leaguers recently.

Landing Lewis Cook from Leeds was Howe’s main objective, and having done that many British writers seem to think Bournemouth have done enough. But I could only pick two other teams the Cherries are better than.

17) WATFORD
I toyed with placing Watford in the bottom three. But then realized apart from my, odd yet passionate, disapproval of Quique Sanchez Flores‘ sacking, I couldn’t think of a good enough reason to rate Bournemouth any higher.

The Hornets managed just four wins and 16 points, in the second half of the season and still finished in 13th place. And Quique takes the fall? That doesn’t make any sense to me. And if you’re a long-time fan of the podcast you know that I couldn’t wait for Benfica to get rid of the Spaniard when he so arrogantly plied his trade in Lisbon.

Odion Ighalo and Troy Deeney will not combine to score 28 goals this campaign. Ighalo tired soon in to the new year, and for as close as Deeney came to a trip to France with England, he was playing well above his weight. I always have a hard time betting on guys who shine bright so late in their careers to continue great form. Jamie Vardy might be my first exception since Pauleta.

Watford should have taken Leicester’s £25 million offer for Deeney. Then again, this is a board that has now hired seven managers since 2013. Logical decision making isn’t exactly a trend at Vicarage Road. But it’s easy to see why Walter Mazzarri felt so comfortable taking his job. Any more stability would be so foreign, it would have surely put him off.

If a Top 10 finish is the expectation, Mazzarri doesn’t stand a chance to make it through the winter. The Italian did a lot with relatively very little 5 years ago at Napoli. But seeing so much of Mazzarri on TV this season should at least settle the debate: does he look more like Alec Baldwin or Dustin Hoffman?

16) CRYSTAL PALACE
If not for a strong start to last season, the South Londoners would be competing with Villa and Newcastle this season. In the end, Palace did enough to finish 15th and it made them one of the hungriest clubs in the transfer market this summer. But for all the high priced bids they’ve thrown around, Alan Pardew has little to show for it.

Andros Townsend and James Tomkins are good players, but they’re not going to take Palace any farther than they’ve already been. Steve Mandanda could be the steal of the season at just £1.4 million. But Pardew and Palace fans the world over, will be holding their breath that the club land Christian Benteke or Saido Berahino before the window closes. Or, both. And they still might.

But as we’ve seen in the past with Palace’s frontline experiments, just because they’ve bagged a dozen goals elsewhere doesn’t mean they’re going to in South London.

Shoutout to The Crystals.

Be sure to check back soon. Predicted finishes 11-15 coming next!

2016/17 Premier League Season preview

It feels like it was only two weeks ago that Leicester City were crowned champions after the most incredible season in the history of team sports. But here we are on the brink of a brand new Premier League campaign.

Gone is the Barclays sponsorship, which means no one will ever have to call it “The BPL” again. And gone too are two of the biggest clubs in England. But in come three new manager’s at three of the biggest clubs in the world. Two of which, ply their trade off the continent for the very first time.

José Mourinho wasted little time putting his stamp on Manchester United spending a world record £89 million to bring Paul Pogba back to Old Trafford. But don’t expect Zlatan Ibrahimovic to let that take any shine off his first season in the Prem.

As hard as he will try, Pep Guardiola is certain to get drawn in to a spat with his longtime and now cross-town rival. Coming off their worst season in recent years, there’s a lot of pressure on Manchester City to bounce back quickly. They have some good pieces, but this will be Pep’s most difficult challenge yet.

Arsene Wenger must be saving all his business for the last week of the transfer window. Meaning, I might as well write one of these again in three weeks. Either that or, he thinks he actually has a strong enough side to compete this season?

And how can Claudio Ranieri and co. follow up last season?

Over the next few days I will preview all 20 Premier League clubs and predict exactly where I think they will finish come season’s end. Because pre-season predictions are always a good idea.

The Soccer Central podcast is back. James Sharman, Thomas Dobby and I got back in the studio Tuesday to preview the brand new season. Have a listen here, or download the pod weekly on iTunes.

EURO 2016: Portugal’s Perfect Ending

What are the odds?

What are the odds you can achieve something no one before you ever has? Something you’ve dreamed about for years. Something that’s easy to fantasize about because it makes it easier to justify the countless hours of stress and exhaustion. Few could stomach it. Most think you’re crazy to live this way, all for the slim chance to one day have this opportunity. You still think I’m talking about what 23 Portuguese footballers accomplished in Paris on Sunday? No. I’m talking about myself.

I don’t know if there are enough words in the English language, let alone in my own vocabulary, to accurately describe the last 72 hours.

As soon as Ricardo Quaresma scored his redeeming, extra-time winner against Croatia, I told myself I would be at the Stade de France on July 10th if Portugal reached the final.

I sent a dozen text messages and emails to friends with friends in high places, terrified by the horror stories I’d read about fake StubHub and Viagogo tickets. One by one, they replied;

“Sorry, can’t help you!”
“Have you tried this person?”
“Great idea but, Portugal aren’t going to make it.”

I went to bed Thursday night convinced I would be watching Portugal lose to France from my sofa, with my sweet smiling German Shepherd next to me for comfort.

But early Friday morning, UEFA released their final batch of tickets at “the host nation are playing in it” premium. And, would ya believe it, two of the six friends across the world I had begged to try for me, had survived the online cue to give me the chance to witness history in person. An hour later the flight was booked, and Saturday night I embarked on the journey of a lifetime.

25 hours in the most romantic city in the world, with two tickets to the biggest sporting event of the year. I felt like Drake.

The idea of watching Portugal in the final of a major tournament always seemed like a pipe dream. Growing up I heard my grandfather’s stories about Eusebio, and the Cinco Violinos. But in my lifetime, Portugal didn’t have a place on football’s map of relevance until Euro 2000.

Four years later on home soil, the golden generation looked destined to deliver what Eusebio couldn’t. Instead Greece wrote the most unthinkable underdog story in the history books.

Fast forward twelve years, witnessing Cristiano Ronaldo become the best player in the world but never deliver what he did for his clubs. And Portugal send arguably the worst team to France that CR7 had ever played on.

Don’t judge a book by its cover. For what they lacked in name recognition and experience, they made up for in cohesion and application. The results didn’t reflect it. Three draws in a group that included the overrated Austrians, previously irrelevant Hungary and the darling debutants from the Land of Fire and Ice, should have sent Portugal packing. But UEFA’s cash driven expansion and flawed elimination format planted the Portuguese on the most favourable path imaginable.

My plane landed in Paris eight hours before kickoff. When I stopped an airport attendant to ask “parlez Anglais?” His reply was, “only enough to tell you that France will win tonight.” The mood across the city was one of anticipation for the massive party that was going to happen later. The French fans were quick to converse and show off their confidence in this rather underwhelming representation of French football that would again deliver the ultimate victory at home. “Because that’s just what the French do,” they said.

Walking through the streets of the 10th arrondissement, one hatchback would fly down the street frantically honking the horn waving a Portuguese flag through the sunroof. And then another. And then another. And then the realization that Paris’s incredibly large Portuguese population had even more invested in this match than I did, sunk in.

The short train ride to Saint-Denis was filled with more smiles than sneers. Everyone was anxious to finally see a champion crowned. At times police uniforms greatly outnumbered Portuguese shirts. Cues to the Fan Zones outside the stadium were calmer than they were long. Security staff was friendly, exceptionally professional and got everyone through far quicker than I expected.

The streets were lined with food vendors and beer stalls, many run by Portuguese-Parisians happier to serve those dressed in red and green. Club music blared from street front restaurants. The exotically dressed super fans were stopped repeatedly for selfies. There wasn’t a person around without a beer in one hand and a smartphone in the other. The Canadian flag and my poor Portuguese accent attracted plenty of attention to our group. I met construction workers from Toronto, retirees from Reading, England, Germans and Welsh that refused to go home, and several people ecstatic to share this experience with their father or grandfather.

There was no rush to enter the stadium. Partly because the party on the street was energizing, and partly because of the fear that I may have come all this way to watch my mother’s homeland lose by three or four goals.

Any Canadian sports fan can relate to that feeling. You’ve endured years of suffering. There are some years your team comes close. You’ve built rivals along the way. And you’ve observed enviously while others, many of whom you feel don’t deserve it, enjoy the pinnacle of success.

When I passed my ticket through the scanner and stepped in to the mammoth stadium, all I was thinking about was enjoying the spectacle. I was disappointed to realise I couldn’t do so with a beer that actually contained alcohol, in my hand. That thought vanished immediately walking up the steps of the entrance to my section to the sight of a stadia prepared to play host to a final watched on TV by hundreds of millions.

I didn’t say a word for about 15 minutes. What was there to say? In mere moments, 22 of the best players in Europe would play the biggest match of their lives.

The crowd came to life with the singing of the national anthems. First the Portuguese, who sounded more like a group of a hundred thousand, rather than ten. I don’t think anyone realised that I didn’t know the words to the entire song. Then the French sung with the pride and confidence of a nation that knows what winning feels like.

The energy was electric at kickoff. Time seemed to evaporate. After two or three unexplained collapses, Cristiano Ronaldo was being carted off in what seemed like complete agony. How was this happening?

Portugal had reached this stage because their captain had done just enough to get them here. And now they were going to play more than an hour without him. It was the worst case scenario and put my heart in my throat for the rest of the night.

France grew with confidence. They peppered Rui Patricio, and were waiting for Portugal’s backline to make a mistake. It never happened. The pressure the French felt to win is what Patricio must have been feeling the entire match. As France’s chances got better, so did the Portuguese keeper’s stops.

Halftime came with a huge sigh of relief for any Portuguese supporter. I witnessed a man propose to his girlfriend in the concourse with the help of a what I assume to be a friend dressed as Napoleon. Can’t help but wonder if he may have delayed the proposal had Portugal been behind.

It felt like a French goal was coming in the second half. João Moutinho was brought on to spring counter attacks. Fernando Santos felt like the intensity was too much for Renato Sanches and Éder came on to a collective sound of disappointment.

Portugal was going to win or lose with those eleven men on the pitch. The idea of a penalty shootout likely featuring Quaresma, Moutinho, Éder, Pepe and Patricio was terrifying.

And then Raphael Guereiro put a perfect looking free kick off the bar. And then, Portugal forced a turnover. Éder didn’t have his back to goal. The blue shirts on the pitch seemed to have as little faith in the Swansea reject as the red ones in the crowd. He cut to the top of the box, took full advantage of the space gifted in front of him, and picked out the far corner leaving Hugo Lloris without a prayer.

Was this really happening? How did Éder score a goal in extra time of a European championship final? How was I there to witness it?

The Portuguese crowd exploded. I jumped like a maniac and nearly leaped over the row of seated, disgruntled French fans in front of me.

The final 11 minutes felt like five. The French desperation was intense. To their credit, the French fans immediately and feverishly cheered their team on. France swung a ball in, and Patricio beat every blue shirt to it. Then they swung another and Pepe nervously headed out for a corner. Oh no. ‘This is it. Portugal will concede on this set piece and we’re going to penalties.’

And then Mark Clattenburg blew the final whistle. Portugal were champions. We had witnessed history.

Against all the odds, Portugal had dished France the pain they endured 12 years ago in Lisbon. And I wasn’t sitting on the couch with the dog watching it in Toronto. I was there, too dehydrated to cry with joy. But there, to experience one of the most incredible night’s of my life. A moment I’ve dreamed of since I was a child. A moment that has bonded 10,000+ strangers and I for life. A moment I didn’t went to end. And one I still can’t believe was real.

Éder to dream. You never know what can come true.

EURO 2016: Portugal wins, and Bale wants in

Ricardo Quaresma is going to need to get another tear drop tattoo on his cheek.

It doesn’t matter how you get there, as long as you get there. And Portugal have got to the semi-finals without even winning a game in regulation. How hipster of them.

Not to mention this is their fourth semi-final appearance at The Euros since EURO 2000, when Luis Figo and Co. put the country on the footballing map for the first time since the days of Eusebio. Beat England and Germany to top the group. Nobody saw that coming. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

It will take Poland a little while to get the bitter tastes out of their mouths. Adam Nawalka brought a very talented, cohesive, and entertaining team to France. It was Poland’s best performance at a major competition since reaching the semis of the 1982 World Cup. But they gambled with taking Portugal to penalties, and lost. Did they really think they could win two penalty kick shootouts in a row? Nobody does that.

The shootout is supposed to be 50/50, though it never feels that way when Portugal are involved. There’s always a reason to give Portugal the edge, and more often than not they come out on top. That’s part of what made four years ago in the semi against Spain so hard to stomach. Had the EURO 2004 final gone to penalties, Portugal would have won.

Following in the footsteps of Ricardo and Eduardo, Rui Patricio denied Jakub Blaszczykowski to become a Portuguese goalkeeping legend. Playing the part he has for most of his career, Nani cemented his place in your mind as a “douche” for his cheeky penalty effort.

It really was not Cristiano Ronaldo‘s day, yet they still prevailed. That likely won’t happen on Wednesday if the Real Madrid superstar doesn’t look more like the Real Madrid superstar we’re used to seeing. There were two opportunities CR7 should have buried. For some reason, he’s just a bit off. Is he injured? He’s certainly not 100%. Is it the pressure? The pressure he puts on himself is the greatest of all. When he doesn’t live up to his own standards, he can spiral into a petulant mess.

Thank goodness for Renato Sanches. The 18 year-old wonderkid, plays with the wisdom of a 10 year veteran. And the fearlessness of an 18 year-old that’s just been sold to one of the best team’s in the world for one of the highest transfer fees ever. Fernando Santos was right to trust the former Benfica midfielder. I don’t think anyone could’ve predicted that he would overshadow Ronaldo.

And now the Portuguese can sit back, and enjoy what should be a great spectacle in Friday’s quarterfinal.

Will Gareth Bale be able to carry his success deprived, tiny nation that many people can’t find on a map, in to a European Championship semi-final against the teammate still upset that he was not the  €100 million man?

Describe today’s match however you’d like. But I prefer, “One of the best player’s in the world.  Versus, nearly every one of the best young players in the Premier League.”

Belgium have all the pressure on their shoulders. Wales just have to play. Chris Coleman has admitted his side are quite comfortable with that reality. But don’t expect the Welsh to give their star studded opposition more respect than they deserve.

Wales are a very good team, with one elite player. Belgium have an arsenal of very talented players, that are trying to become a team. And today they should be even more vulnerable at the back than they have been all month. No Jan Vertoghen because of an injury he picked up in training. And Thomas Vermaelen is suspended

Lille is the place where Eden Hazard made his name, and you can bet he’ll be looking to put on another masterful show. Though, Hazard has never played at the Stade Pierre Mauroy. The club moved in to their new stadium the year he left. But it is just 20 km from the Belgian border, so it should at least feel very familiar with plenty of red, black and highlighter yellow in the stands.

This is a tricky match to predict. The head says Belgium. But the heart says Wales. Here’s to hoping it’s just a cracking match we can all enjoy.

EURO 2016: Day 12

Just when you think Euro 2016 is becoming a bit too predictable, we get a day like Tuesday.

Raise your hand if you picked Croatia to top Group D?
You’re a liar.

Drama until the very. Croatia’s 2-1 triumph over Spain was the best match of the tournament so far, and the biggest surprise.

Croatia’s penalty call was 50/50. I didn’t fault Dutch referee Björn Kuipers for not giving it. And to be honest I can’t fault him for giving Spain the penalty opportunity after because David Silva sold it brilliantly.

Kuipers  must have thought he owed the Croatians because he let Danijel Subašić take an Uber off his line, leaving Sergio Ramos with about 18 inches to choose where to place his poor penalty.

Just because you’re wearing the captain’s armband, doesn’t mean you should be taking penalties. You’d think Ramos would have seen his Real Madrid teammate’s miss against Austria and think “well if Ronnie’s missing here, what chance do I have?” Ego trumps logic every single time.

Never thought Ivan Perišić would score from that angle. David de Gea will be haunted by that goal if Spain crash out early. Can’t wait to see Inter Milan drawn with Manchester United in the Europa League in a couple of months.

The only other time Croatia beat Spain, after independence, was 1994. Not to take anything away from Davor Šuker & Co., but this win is more impressive. This Spanish team hadn’t lost since Euro 2004, are one of the best in the world, and looked it until Tuesday. Now Croatia can put their feet up and wait. We saw on Tuesday that they don’t fear anything anyway. And they will not fear their path as this win changed the landscape of the tourney.

Spain, Germany and France, the three pre-tournament favourites, now all find themselves on the same side of the bracket. Yikes.

Croatia get a third place opponent in the last 16, and then have Switzerland or Poland standing in their way of a semi final berth. Spain get Italy next.

There isn’t a team in France this month that won’t be afraid of crossing paths with Croatia now. Repeatedly emphasized in the broadcast, Croatia’s fitness levels are incredible. Their ability to play at pace and with an increasing intensity is a rare strength. Fueled by the adrenaline of competing with the European champions and the chance to top the group helped, I’m sure.

Germany looked for more confident going forward early on. Could have led 2-0 after 10 minutes.

You knew Northern Ireland was going to be all right when Michael McGovern stopped Thomas Müller‘s shot with his nuts.

It was only a matter of time before they found an opening goal. And Mario Gomez did just before the half hour mark. Still shocked they didn’t find another.

Mesut Özil is not doing himself any favours with German supporters who think even less of him than Gooners on a frustrated Saturday afternoon.

Joachim Löw prepared for the glaring TV cameras, and the after party, wearing that rubber shirt. Clever.

Poland should feel very proud of themselves. Through to the knockout stage for the first time. Finished level on points with Germany and only placed second on goal difference. Not to mention, they were the better team against their western neighbours, and given another opportunity may just beat them.

I thought Turkey were dead and buried. But they played the match they needed to and would be a dangerous team to draw in the last 16. Because you simply don’t know which Turkey is going to show up.

Youngster Emre Mor came to France with a ton of hype. Now we can see why.

Someone check the stock price for the world’s largest flare producer. Gut feeling they’re doing very very well this month.

Cristiano Ronaldo will be Hungary to impress today 😉

I expect Portugal to finally reap the rewards of their quality play. But with that team, you never know what you’re going to get on match day.

EURO 2016: What to watch for on Day 12

Did the last couple of days leave you itching for more football? Fear not. Here’s four matches to leave you completely distracted and unproductive at work. Let’s start with the early matches in Group C.

Northern Ireland became one of the ‘feel good’ stories of the summer just by qualifying for this tournament, let alone beating Ukraine 2-0. Could they top that with a win over the World Champions? They have done it before. Twice in fact. During qualifying for Euro 84, but you’ll be reminded of that triumph several times during today’s broadcast.

Judging by the tone and doubt from German media, sounds like they fear Northern Ireland may do it again. I don’t read German, but they seem none to pleased with Die Mannschaft. Despite the lack of a conventional number 9, most thought depth was a strength of this team. After two matches, others snicker that this is simply the 2014 World Cup team a little more tired, and a lot less creative.

But let’s not get carried away. Germany haven’t conceded a goal yet, and even the most passionate Northern Ireland supporter would be hard pressed to throw their hard earned money on the odds that the Green and White Army will be the first to score one.

Can understand where the doubt comes from. To win it all, Germany could play France, Italy and Spain. Not exactly what you’d call “an easy road.” Very much expect them to have an easy time today in Paris, and expect Thomas Muller to put his name on the scoresheet.
Prediction: NIR 0-2 Germany

Easy pep talk for Poland coach Adam Nawalka today. “Don’t lose and we’re through.”

Ukraine are unbeaten in the last five versus their Euro 2012 co-hosts. But at this tournament, Ukraine share the unwanted tag with their Russian neighbours to the east as “the worst teams at Euro 2016.”

Clearly Russell Crowe bet that Poland would do the deed against Germany on matchday 2. Why else would be chirp Arkadiusz Milik for failing to score? Maybe Crowe should start tweeting Robert Lewandowski. Few would have bet the Bayern frontman would have zero goals after two matches in France. But many will bet he nets at least one today. Based on the way Ukraine have played this month, that would be a smart play.
Prediction: Ukraine 1-2 Poland

How early do you think security staff in Bordeaux were asked to come to work today? Gut feeling that Croatian Ultras will have to be a bit more creative to sneak flares and fireworks in to the Stade de Bordeaux. One would certainly hope so.

The protesters made their point to the Croatian FA. And any repeated self sabotage will not win over any new supporters.

With a healthy Luca Modric on the pitch for 90 minutes, Croatia look fully capable of a good result against Spain. The Spanish have been amongst the most impressive through two matches, but Croatia have enhanced their darkhorse label.

The Czech got more than they deserved, and anybody who watched that match or can sympathize with the fear Croatian players would have watching it all “kick off” in the section where their friends and family were sitting, knows that.

Couldn’t blame Croatia for being nervous about today’s opponents either. Spain haven’t conceded at The Euros since the opening match of Poland/Ukraine 2012. Also haven’t lost a European Championship match since Euro 2004, in Portugal.

Alvaro Morata and Nolito have made everyone in Spain forget that their team has traveled north without a “big name frontman” for the first time in two decades. Top to bottom, La Roja have yet to show any weaknesses. A boring opening match doesn’t count. That’s just how this team operates more often than not.

The smart play would be to pick a repeat of Spain’s 1-0 group stage victory over Croatia four years ago. But if you read this blog, you know that I’m not very smart.
Prediction: Croatia 2-2 Spain 

I don’t like watching Fatih Terim suffer. The Turkish master seems all out ideas and his players seem incapable of playing up to their potential. Most teams would have lost to Spain. Few would have looked as overwhelmed.

Arda Turan has taken the brunt of blame the Turkey‘s disappointment. Was a rumour that he would even quit the team. To which he firmly denied with “that’s not me.”

A draw could be enough for the Czech to make it through. They’ll have quite a few bruises to show for it, but I think that fate will come with ease.
Prediction: Czech 0-0 Turkey

Enjoy today’s matches and check the blog daily for recaps, previews and my general EURO 2016 opinions.