Leicester City: the most unlikely champions in the history of sport

Don’t ever let anyone tell you that your dreams are too big. 

Leicester City winning the Premier League title is without a doubt, the greatest upset of all-time. Sorry David.

5000-1. And now, second to none. 

Walt Disney couldn’t have scripted this feel good story. But now that it has been played out for Hollywood’s amusement, it’s time to cast the movie! 

Potential film titles;

1) How The F#%^ Did This Happen?

2) It’s Lestor. Not Lyechester

3) For Fox Sake: Seriously. How The F#%^ Did This Happen?

CAST

Claudio Ranieri: Billy Crystal
Unconventional, I know. But you know The Tinkerman has a funny, but very unique side to him. And Crystal was fantastic as Magical Max in The Princess Bride! Got to admit, Bill Murray looks a spitting image at the moment though. Roberto Benigni was the easy, and stereotypical choice. 

Riyad Mahrez: Wilmer Valderrama
It’s about time the world sees him as someone other than Fez.

Jamie Vardy: Joel McHale
Every episode of Community was a party.

Wes Morgan: Idris Elba
Perfect role to set him up to play James Bond. 

Danny Drinkwater: Tom Hardy
Every character he plays is larger than life. With a name like that…

Robert Huth: David Coulthard
I know he’s not an actor, but you don’t really expect Huth to be very vocal in his scenes. They are the only human beings on the planet with that jawline! It you don’t think DC fits the part, then only Liam Neeson will do. Did you see him run in Taken 3? Looks just like Huth.

Marc Albrighton: Eddie Redmayne
Every actor looks better than the person they are portraying. Even if it’s only a little bit.

Christian Fuchs: Ryan Reynolds
The Austrian is one of the biggest personalities in that room.

N’Golo Kante: Taye Diggs
Because, the perfect supporting character should be played by an experienced supporting actor.

Leo Ulloa: Javier Bardem
Was so explosive as the funny looking psychopath in that Bond film. 

Danny Simpson: The Rock
Bit of a compliment for Simpson. But DJ already has all the tats.

Shinji Okazaki: Daniel Dae Kim
Literally just to rescue the guy from Hawaii Five-0. How is that show still on the air?

Nathan Dyer: Harold Parenyo (from Lost & Sons of Anarchy)

Nigel Pearson:…?
Vinnie F#%^ing Jones! Like you really had to think about that.

Of course there are other key figures needed to play out this unbelievable story. If you haven’t noticed, this flick has a PSG type budget. 

Arsene Wenger: Ian McKellan.
Wenger has always been very Magnetto-like. McKellan would also play Martin Tyler. 

Harry Kane: Liam Hemsworth

Jürgen Klopp: Michael Fassbender
Looked pretty damn good as Steve Jobs. Klopp is basically the same person. 

Wayne Rooney: Michael Rooker (Merle from TWD)

Marcus Rashford: Michael B Jordan

Andy Carroll: Chris Hemsworth
Carroll is basically the James Hunt of soccer anyway.

Fergie: Michael Caine
Because you know they both feel entitled to be a part of this movie. Just because.

I have to give a big shoutout to my friend and colleague Andrew Webster for helping me cast some crucial roles. You have a front row seat, and free popcorn to the red carpet premiere. Except, it will be a blue carpet premier.

5 Things To Watch In The Prem This Weekend – Feb. 13

1) Is this the match when we finally accept Leicester City as title contenders?
Unless you’re a Gooner, who doesn’t want to see Leicester win at The Emirates on Sunday? Shame for us on this side of the pond that it’s the early kickoff. But that’s why television companies invented the PVR.

Claudio Ranieri said before The Fantasy Foxes trip to the other Middle Eastern luxury airliner stadium last weekend, “they have to win. We have to play.” Same scenario this weekend. I just hope Leicester can continue to play with the carefree bravado they employed in the fall and again in their most recent two victories. He hasn’t tinkered with the side, fielding the same XI five matches in a row now.

Jamie Vardy and Riyad Mahrez have scored 32 goals between them this season. Arsenal have scored 39 goals, the lowest total of any Top 4 club. Stan Collymore said this week that Arsenal are “the club most likely” to sign Mahrez in the summer. Shall we expect a shining audition Sunday morning then?

And I know it’s been said by others all week, but I’ll say it again because it’s hilarious. If Per Mertesacker starts running now, he may be able to catch Jamie Vardy.

That 5-2 win at The King Power Stadium, thanks to an Alexis Sanchez hat-trick, was five months ago. The way LCFC are playing, it might as well have been five years ago.

2) Will Sunderland finish with XI men?
They’ll need eleven men on the pitch to get anything from a side that have only lost once in their last seven league matches. And here you probably thought the only thing worth talking about ahead of Manchester United‘s trip to the northeast was Wayne Rooney‘s impressive five goal 2016. Bettered only by Jermain Defoe‘s six… and some bloke named Sergio Agüero with seven.

But for those who would raise an eyebrow every time Howard Webb would referee a United match, take at look at these stats. In the 17 Sunderland matches that Andre Marriner has officiated, he’s sent off seven players. He also worked Sunderland’s 6-2 loss at Everton and that 8-0 embarrassment against Southampton. On the other side, United have lost five of their last six matches that Marriner refereed. So don’t be surprised if AM takes a bit of the spotlight early Saturday morning.

3) How many goals will we get at The Etihad this weekend?
Nobody expected Joe Hart to pick the ball out of his net three times last weekend, in a losing cause. But he may do it even more times this Sunday when second placed Tottenham travel north. The last nine Premier League matches between these two have delivered 41 goals. Safe bet that Agüero will put his name on the scoresheet. He’s bagged 10 in his last eight league matches against Spurs.

Considering that Man City haven’t beaten any club this season currently in the top 6, Pellegrini will need his Argentine wonder-striker to be on his A-game. Otherwise, I don’t think City will be able to put the Londoners in the rearview and close the gap with Leicester.

4) Will Frencesco Guidolin ever lose a game again?
Sure, The Saints are getting all the attention because they’re unbeaten in five, having not even allowed a goal. Winning at Old Trafford and drawing at The Emirates is impressive, but this is not the same Swansea side that lost 3-1 at St. Mary’s at the end of September. One win and two draws won’t put the Italian in to ‘manager of the year’ conversations just yet. But considering Ki Sung-Yueng is back after recovering from a concussion and Gylfi Sigurdsson has scored as many goals in his last six games as he did in his previous 33, the Swans can put an end to Fraser Forster‘s run of five straight clean sheets.

5) Can Everton win with John Stones back in the squad?
I know that sounds crazy, if you continually read all the transfer rumours and see the money big clubs are prepared to pay for the promising but unproven defender. But three matches without Stones resulted in three straight 3-0 Toffees victories. I’m not saying he’s the problem, but maybe just maybe he isn’t a £40 million solution?

And when will Tony Pulis accept that Saido Berahino is likely the solution to pulling West Brom away from the drop zone? Just six points up on Norwich, there will be plenty of Baggies supporters pulling for West Ham to take all three points at Carrow Road on Saturday.