20) BURNLEY
I have a hard time immediately writing off newly promoted champions. Winning the League Championship is as difficult as winning the Champions League. However, few are as naive as The Clarets seem to be this season.
Their best addition this summer was brand new flood lights, at one of the worst grounds in football. I’m serious. Apparently they’re 11 meters taller than the last ones. Better for 4K broadcasts? Sorry Jon Flanagan.
Several promoted sides begin a top flight season without having made a key signing. Few are actually worse than the team that won promotion. The Burnley that was relegated two years ago on 33 points, wasn’t half bad. And it took til November to win their first match! They will be lucky to win five matches with this squad.
Joey Barton chose the Scottish Premiership after being allowed to leave on a free transfer. I haven’t seen anyone really raving about Nick Pope or JB Gudmundsson. Well, apart from all the hipsters that fell in love with Gudmundsson’s Iceland at Euro 2016.
All the pressure falls on the shoulders of last year’s Championship Player of the Year Andre Gray. He cost an initial £6 million last summer. But ownership won’t open the chequebook now? They will regret it.
19) HULL CITY
Hull would have been relegation favourites even with Steve Bruce in charge on matchday 1. The only reason I’ve picked them to finish ahead of Burnley is experience. Though they’ll start their relegation battle without four notable players.
Michael Dawson will be out for three months. Right-back Moses Odubajo, goalkeeper Allan McGregor and centreback Alex Bruce are each six months away from pulling on that black and yellow shirt. Without Dad around, will Bruce get another minute? Oh, did I mention that Mohamed Diamé left for Newcastle? You know you’re club is in bad shape when you have goal scorers that would rather stay in the championship than come up, without a chance.
I feel for Tigers supporters. Martin O’Neill left Aston Villa in a very similar situation six years ago, and Villa never recovered. While MON wasn’t able to keep the players he wanted, at least he was able to buy a few. Hull have spent just £200k all year, on reserve goalkeeper Dusan Kuciak from Legia Warsaw. And that purchase was made in January!
Hull might very well have new, presumably anxious to spend, American owners before they even employ Bruce’s replacement. But by the time the January transfer window rolls around, Hull will have put themselves too far back.
18) BOURNEMOUTH
I don’t think I’ll anger any Bournemouth supporters by saying they won’t top the highs of last season. Winning at Stamford Bridge. Beating Manchester United at Dean Court, is the stuff dreams are made of. Eddie Howe has the dream to be England boss, but that will have to wait. I bet Jordan Ibe never dreamed someone would pay £15 million for him, but the Cherries made the former Liverpool starlet their prized signing of the summer. Good player for a squad like this, but he may not be able to outperform that price tag hanging over his head.
Five others have joined the club, while a pair of important pieces have quit the project with the hopes of winning promotion for bigger names. Tommy Elphick left for Villa and Matt Ritchie traded the south coast for the northeast. But Howe is quite smitten about £5.4 million signing, France Under-20 striker, Lys Mousset from Le Havre. They’ve produced a couple of decent Premier Leaguers recently.
Landing Lewis Cook from Leeds was Howe’s main objective, and having done that many British writers seem to think Bournemouth have done enough. But I could only pick two other teams the Cherries are better than.
17) WATFORD
I toyed with placing Watford in the bottom three. But then realized apart from my, odd yet passionate, disapproval of Quique Sanchez Flores‘ sacking, I couldn’t think of a good enough reason to rate Bournemouth any higher.
The Hornets managed just four wins and 16 points, in the second half of the season and still finished in 13th place. And Quique takes the fall? That doesn’t make any sense to me. And if you’re a long-time fan of the podcast you know that I couldn’t wait for Benfica to get rid of the Spaniard when he so arrogantly plied his trade in Lisbon.
Odion Ighalo and Troy Deeney will not combine to score 28 goals this campaign. Ighalo tired soon in to the new year, and for as close as Deeney came to a trip to France with England, he was playing well above his weight. I always have a hard time betting on guys who shine bright so late in their careers to continue great form. Jamie Vardy might be my first exception since Pauleta.
Watford should have taken Leicester’s £25 million offer for Deeney. Then again, this is a board that has now hired seven managers since 2013. Logical decision making isn’t exactly a trend at Vicarage Road. But it’s easy to see why Walter Mazzarri felt so comfortable taking his job. Any more stability would be so foreign, it would have surely put him off.
If a Top 10 finish is the expectation, Mazzarri doesn’t stand a chance to make it through the winter. The Italian did a lot with relatively very little 5 years ago at Napoli. But seeing so much of Mazzarri on TV this season should at least settle the debate: does he look more like Alec Baldwin or Dustin Hoffman?
16) CRYSTAL PALACE
If not for a strong start to last season, the South Londoners would be competing with Villa and Newcastle this season. In the end, Palace did enough to finish 15th and it made them one of the hungriest clubs in the transfer market this summer. But for all the high priced bids they’ve thrown around, Alan Pardew has little to show for it.
Andros Townsend and James Tomkins are good players, but they’re not going to take Palace any farther than they’ve already been. Steve Mandanda could be the steal of the season at just £1.4 million. But Pardew and Palace fans the world over, will be holding their breath that the club land Christian Benteke or Saido Berahino before the window closes. Or, both. And they still might.
But as we’ve seen in the past with Palace’s frontline experiments, just because they’ve bagged a dozen goals elsewhere doesn’t mean they’re going to in South London.
Shoutout to The Crystals.
Be sure to check back soon. Predicted finishes 11-15 coming next!
Dunlop's Daily Dose 