5 Things We Learned From The Prem After Matchweek 1

Saturday mornings used to be the most enjoyable part of my week.

Now, I feel like I’m watching my ex-girlfriend. She’s moved on with her life. She hangs with a completely different crowd now. And to be honest, she’s sexier than ever. While I wake up early Saturday mornings, to follow live tweets about a visit from Rotherham, or a trip to Huddersfield. #LifeAfterRelegation

Having spilled my feelings and bitterness to you, here are the five things we learned from a thrilling opening weekend to the 2016/17 Premier League season.

1) Conte figured out how to sell soccer to Americans
It didn’t work when Will Ferrell and Mike Ditka tried it in the highly underrated cult classic Kicking & Screaming. But 4-2-4 is the formation that continually teases the audience “there’s going to be a goal here!” Antonio Conte got his winner courtesy of a hungry, and mildly less petulant, Diego Costa.

Chelsea very much look like a team prepared to wear down their opponents over the course of a match, and pounce when the time is right. How Italian of them. They won’t win matches by many goals, but they will win many matches.

Watching Eden Hazard and Willian come off in a 1-1 game must have had most Chelsea fans thinking, “oh God. This guy’s just happy to win one point on his debut!” But all three subs looked inspired and really upped the pressure on West Ham‘s tired defense. I didn’t think we’d ever see Victor Moses in a Chelsea shirt again. He didn’t look half bad! And I’m talking about his play! Those Chelsea tops are awful.

Chelsea probably could have been more creative. Despite James Collins‘ fine equaliser, West Ham really didn’t seem up for it Monday night. Conte’s side would have had the opportunity to create more chances with Cesc Fabregas on the pitch instead of one of either N’Golo Kanté or Nemanja Matic.

Lucky for Conte, he’s got about 55 more matches to play around with things.

2) Man United have got their swagger back
We knew Manchester United would be a different side with José Mourinho running the show. And while it was just the season opener away to Bournemouth, it was clear to see that United have this aura about them that they haven’t had since winning the title three years ago. Scary to think what they’ll look like once Paul Pogba reintegrates himself back in to the team.

You can already see Zlatan Ibrahimovic‘s confidence wearing off on his teammates. In two matches now, they’ve played with a composure that was rarely noticeable under LVG.  Wayne Rooney wasn’t all that impressive, but he’s certainly been worse and if he gets his name on the scoresheet every time he plays a match like that, he’s going to keep his place in the side.

3) Wenger will panic buy on Deadline Day
Have we unknowingly stumbled on to a near decade-long conspiracy where Arsene Wenger leaves all his business until the last few days of the window so that Sky Sports can keep “Jim White Day” going?

I can’t remember the last time I didn’t read or hear “injury crisis” and “Arsenal” in the same sentence.  There’s a great game show brewing at The Emirates: “who’s this guy you’ve never heard of before in Wenger’s XI?” That game works for reading transfer rumours as well.

Buckle up and prepare to read endless unknowns from the lesser televised regions of Europe linked with a move to the Gunners. Or, maybe Wenger will just wait for captain Per Mertesacker to return from injury in five months.

Certainly Rob Holding deserved a better debut than that? Word was Francis Coquelin had been training next to Callum Chambers in pre-season. That could be the centreback pairing when Arsenal visit champions Leicester in Saturday’s late kickoff.

4) Children’s crests are SO in right now
Not to enrage all you Manchester City and West Ham supporters. You’re an incredibly passionate and loyal bunch. Your teams have real history and tradition. So why on earth have the badges become so simplistic they look like they were designed on Snapchat?

5) Hull will not be relegated on zero points
Fueled by the last placed predictions of everyone from Hull to Hong Kong, and the presence of the champions in the first Premier League match of this new season, the Tigers showed us that magic isn’t reserved simply for Leicester. I thought a Leicester win was the lock of the weekend. Clearly I know nothing. And Claudio Ranieri meant it when he said, “staying up is the focus.”

NOTABLE MENTION
Pep Guardiola doesn’t have the Hart for Shrewsbury Joe. Really don’t know why he would wait til the start of the season to send that message to Hart, everyone watching, and most importantly, clubs with a goalkeeper to sell. Willy Caballero will do the trick for now. He genuinely appears to relish the role of sweeper keeper. But expect a bigger name to walk in to The Etihad before the window closes.

Jürgen Klopp didn’t realise he hired his doppelgänger when he convinced fitness coach Andreas Kornmayer to trade Bavaria for Merseyside. Or, more likely, Klopp knew that having Kornmayer around would help protect him from angry players and fans when these three-a-day training sessions put half the squad on the disabled list. One of them must drive a Saab still, right? #ArchitectsGlasses

Watch out Gary Lineker: Andy Townsend is coming for you mate! And he didn’t even need to take his clothes off.

I really enjoyed the Premier League Productions ‘Matchday Live’ half-time and post-match set up with just Townsend and former Canadian Owen Hargreaves standing in a poshy looking footballer’s cottage, speaking about Chelsea and West Ham like a couple of pros just bantering All that was missing was a couple of pints on that monitor/table. Though now that hosts have been replaced from host-worthy analysts, I better re-start the “backup” career plans…

2016/17 Premier League season preview (1-5)

5) ARSENAL
This is the year Arsene Wenger doesn’t win his “fourth place trophy.” And the Frenchman has absolutely no one to blame but himself.

The Gunners seem willing to spend more and more every window, but they don’t. Partly because they aren’t willing to overpay, leave that to team’s like Juventus. But increasingly because Arsenal is not the attractive destination it should be. London and playing in the Champions League have plenty of appeal yes, but finishing second last year was as damaging to Arsenal’s ambitions as any finish since Wenger arrived.

As unfair as it may be, with Chelsea, United and City‘s inabilities last season the title was Arsenal’s to lose. And that they did.

Granit Xhaka is a nifty player, but not what they needed. Defensively Arsenal could be in as much trouble to start this year as they were that season they bought Per Mertesacker and that fat Brasilian on the final day of the summer window. On paper this is a top side. But why gamble again that Jack Wilshere, Theo Walcott, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Danny Welbeck and Santi Cazorla will be fit to contribute for any more than a COMBINED 38 matches?

Mesut Özil and Alexis Sanchez are unfairly forced to carry too much of the load, while Olivier Giroud is being set up to fail. And most Gooners will tell you he doesn’t need any help with that.

This is supposed to be Wenger’s last season at The Emirates, and by the end of it I think he will regret not retiring after that second FA Cup win.

4) TOTTENHAM
Finishing above Arsenal is the equivalent of winning the league, isn’t it?

For months I critised Tottenham for “playing above their weight” and slammed their inconsistencies. I didn’t come around until it was actually a two horse title race. I was happy at that point to admit I was completely wrong. But how did Spurs finish the season? By looking exactly like a team that had been playing better than they really were for months and couldn’t cut it in the end with the pressure as high as could be. They will never get that close again. But, the future looks fantastic.

Preparing to open a new 60,000 seat stadium moreso than having learned from wasteful purchases, Daniel Levy was unusually quiet this summer. Reading Mauricio Pochettino‘s quotes this pre-season, the Argentine thinks he has best team Tottenham have ever put out on the pitch. He wanted Victor Wanyama last season, and now he’s got him, increasing squad depth while making Spurs more difficult to score on. 22 year old Vincent Janssen joined from AZ Alkmaar for a pricey £17 million but should take some of the scoring load off Harry Kane. Both seem like “very” Pochettino purchases, which might explain why head of recruitment Paul Mitchell quit.

Champions League nights at Wembley will be a real treat for the Spurs faithful.

Eric Dier should follow up his coming-out season with an even better campaign, having had a great experience at Euro 2016. While Kane and Deli Alli will hope to play as well as they did in a Spurs shirt last season, and nothing like the way they played with an England one on.

This is England’s team. Maybe that’s why I’m not sold?

3) MANCHESTER CITY
Sheikh Mansour made no secret of the Abu Dhabi United’s Group’s intentions when they purchased Manchester City and changed the landscape of English football overnight. This is what they were building towards. This is the dream they envisioned. I don’t know if this was the squad Pep thought he would have to work with when he accepted the job last winter, but so be it.

This will be Pep Guardiola‘s toughest challenge yet. When he arrived at Bayern he inherited treble winners. At City, he has inherited a very expensive collection of players and assembled a fantasy football XI. İlkay Gündoğan will be an instant superstar, if he can actually string together a good run of matches. Nolito showed his worth during Spain’s brief run at Euro 2016. Clearly management thought if they paid £50 million they would get the John Stones from 2014/15, and not the one that played last season and probably isn’t worth half that. But hey, at least Martin Demichelis is gone!

Kevin De Bruyne is the perfect player to build a team around. Sergio Agüero might be the best (proper) striker Pep has ever had. David Silva should flourish, and Pep might actually be able to get the best out of Jesus Navas.

Mistake-free possession football might never be a thing at The Etihad this season. But as long as City challenge for the title and build off a hugely impressive Champions League semi-final appearance, Mansour’s master plan will continue to move in the right direction.

And at the risk of never being served a drink at the Man City Supporters Club of Toronto again, why did they change the crest? It looks like a children’s team logo.

2) MANCHESTER UNITED
Let the José Mourinho era begin! The Special One was given his dream job and wasted little time inspiring the fan-base with the feeling that winning would return to Old Trafford. Spending £89 million on one player will do that.

Even before Paul Pogba arrived, I had picked Manchester United in my Top 3. They were close to a Champions League place last season, playing under a manager that never once knew what he wanted. Mourinho only wants to win, and doesn’t care what it takes to do it. He will quickly have to find the best use for Pogba, because the Frenchman’s place has such a ripple effect on the entire squad. Playing him on the wing with Wayne Rooney employed behind new boy Zlatan Ibahimovic serving as the lone striker may be the best option. But that leaves Henrikh Mkhitaryan out, and that might be José’s biggest headache this season. Well, that and the Manchester media following him around town.

I wonder what Mourinho thinks of the statisticians at the University of Salford that used math to conclude the signings of Pogba and Ibra were worth 10 more points. Their tests revealed the pair increased United’s chances of winning the title by 4%. You know what everyone always says, “the Premier League needs more math!”

It’s funny to read so much of criticism of Ibrahimovic, that he doesn’t have much left in the tank. He climbed up over Wes Morgan with ease to get his head on that Community Shield winning goal. The only player stronger than Morgan I think, is his Leicester teammate Jeffrey Schlupp. Ibra scored 38 league goals last season. Surely he can bag 15 in his Premier League debut season.

I expect to see a very different Mourinho this year. One that isn’t as quick to make headlines. One that selectively picks fights with his rivals. From an entertainment perspective, this could be the most boring year with Mourinho working in the Premier League. But that’s strictly off the pitch and between matches. On the pitch, United will be “must watch TV” every single week.

1) CHELSEA
This really wasn’t an easy choice for me. I sat and debated for the longest time. But in the end, Antonio Conte is the ultimate X-factor. He has made a career of getting new jobs because of his ability to achieve success, with very little at his disposal. Have you seen Chelsea‘s back-line?

This is an aging squad that grossly underachieved for half of last season. But if there’s a man to get Eden Hazard, Diego Costa, Cesc Fabregas and Nemanja Matic to play to their full potential, it’s absolutely Antonio Conte.

Hazard looked inspired and hungry in pre-season. Perhaps fueled by Belgium‘s disappointment at Euro 2016? Great player to have in your side. Costa knows he is on a short leash and this is his last opportunity to keep his big paycheque. Fabregas still has the quality to be one of the best midfielders in the Premier League. And it looks like he also shares the same “hair guy” as his new manager?

It’s a good thing Conte has the best hair plugs in the world because Chelsea’s defense is likely to stress him out a bit. As always he will rely on a back three. N’Golo Kanté, Matic and Thibaut Courtois may find it tiring to play four men down every Saturday.

Jokes aside, defense is Chelsea’s biggest weakness heading in to this season. But for all John Terry and Gary Cahill‘s faults, they can succeed with the simplified system Conte will employ. That’s what Kanté brings and why he was such a priority. £32 million will prove to be a bargain.

The price paid for Michy Batshuayi surprised many, and so will his play this year. The Belgian was an unknown to anyone but avid Ligue 1 viewers before Euro 2016. He’s 22-years-old, still very much a raw talent and was the fourth leading goalscorer in France last season, potting 17 for Marseille. Forwards from L’OM have a history of playing well at Stamford Bridge. They do not need to overpay to bring Romelu Lukaku back.

Roman Abramovich took a big risk appointing Conte. This is a man that happily confronted disapproving Ultras while managing Atalanta. He is afraid of nothing, except maybe failure. But he hasn’t experienced that in years. Tip for Chelsea’s Ultras: don’t mess with Conte!

Thanks for reading my 2016/17 Premier League season preview series! Be sure to listen to the weekly Soccer Central podcast. Follow me on twitter, instagram and SnapChat: @brendan_dunlop

2016/17 Premier League Season preview

It feels like it was only two weeks ago that Leicester City were crowned champions after the most incredible season in the history of team sports. But here we are on the brink of a brand new Premier League campaign.

Gone is the Barclays sponsorship, which means no one will ever have to call it “The BPL” again. And gone too are two of the biggest clubs in England. But in come three new manager’s at three of the biggest clubs in the world. Two of which, ply their trade off the continent for the very first time.

José Mourinho wasted little time putting his stamp on Manchester United spending a world record £89 million to bring Paul Pogba back to Old Trafford. But don’t expect Zlatan Ibrahimovic to let that take any shine off his first season in the Prem.

As hard as he will try, Pep Guardiola is certain to get drawn in to a spat with his longtime and now cross-town rival. Coming off their worst season in recent years, there’s a lot of pressure on Manchester City to bounce back quickly. They have some good pieces, but this will be Pep’s most difficult challenge yet.

Arsene Wenger must be saving all his business for the last week of the transfer window. Meaning, I might as well write one of these again in three weeks. Either that or, he thinks he actually has a strong enough side to compete this season?

And how can Claudio Ranieri and co. follow up last season?

Over the next few days I will preview all 20 Premier League clubs and predict exactly where I think they will finish come season’s end. Because pre-season predictions are always a good idea.

The Soccer Central podcast is back. James Sharman, Thomas Dobby and I got back in the studio Tuesday to preview the brand new season. Have a listen here, or download the pod weekly on iTunes.

The Special One finds his special place

What a time to be alive.

It took longer than he wanted, but José Mourinho finally has his dream job.

Following in the steps of one man in over his head, and another whose head was so far up in the clouds he often couldn’t see what was going on around him, the 53 year-old was hired to return “football’s most storied club” to the glory years enjoyed under Sir Alex Ferguson.

Remember this is the guy that was once arrested for obstructing animal health officials and police from quarantining his dog.

I’m not saying this isn’t the right move for both parties. I’ve been waiting for this appointment since Fergie announced his retirement. I just fully understand why it took so long, and why not everyone in the Manchester United hierarchy believes Mourinho deserves this job.

If Manchester City didn’t hire Pep Guardiola, this article is about PSG‘s new fiery skip “L’un Homme Spécial.”

In many ways this is heartbreaking for United. Gone are the days when they could sit on their thrown atop the mountain while their “noisy neighbours” struggled quite hilariously to climb the grassy slopes, like a Range Rover Evoque with summer tyres. Now City actions force United reactions. And this is by far the best move possible.

Mourinho has charisma and a personality like few others in professional sports. Everywhere José has been he makes enemies. But he is beloved by tens of millions. He can make average players look great. He terrorizes the minds of his opposition. And he is always going to leave us with a great quote.

But while his CV is envied by every manager, Jose’s act is a tired one. Owners have quit on him. Players have quit on him. Very few managers are successful at the very top for more than ten years.

Mourinho won six league titles and the Champions League twice between 2002 and 2010. Since then he has won just two league crowns and left two clubs a complete mess. And no I am not a Barca favouring Spanish journalist. I was referring to Inter.

In English football’s 128 year history, only four managers have won the league with more than one club. Tom Watson, Herbert Chapman, Brian Clough and Kenny Dalglish.

Won’t stop millions from running to the betting shops to put a wager on the Red Devils, with only the Europa League to distract them this season. And José will become the fifth. Just in his second season, of course.

At United winning is just expected. It’s how you win that is the most important thing.

Louis van Gaal was feverishly criticized by the United faithful for not playing attractive football. Mourinho has made a career of filling trophy cabinets 1-0. And not the exciting Leicester way. But the way that empowers your soccer hating friends to say “this is supposed to be one of the best sawker teams around and they can only score one goal in an hour and a half?”

Mou has many detractors to win over. Several wear the suits that argued for weeks about his image rights. A few more are in the dressing room he will walk in to like he owns. It’s a good thing he has the entire pre-season to put his stamp on things.

So now we wait for Zlatan Ibrahimovic to make his way to the red side of Manchester. “Came as a king. Left as an assistant manager?” as one so eloquently said on Football Weekly in reference to rumour that José was going to bring Ibra to Old Trafford, but not as a player. Now there’s someone that Pep Guardiola would love to poke in the eye during a touch line skirmish.

Tough break for Juan Mata. Was the best player in the Premier League four years ago. José shows up, ships him out and he’s been trying to kill the unfair reputation of being a “Chelsea failure” ever since. Rumours of Mata for Willian have already started. Jesse Lingard doesn’t stand a chance of keeping a spot in the first team now. Adnan Januzaj is begging Borussia Dortmund to come save him. Marcus Rashford is… Naw. Rashford is good. He’s an England man now!

Or maybe, José Mourinho has in fact changed. Maybe he will give young players a chance to establish themselves. Maybe he will bite his tongue when opposing managers rile him up. Maybe he will instruct his players to put on a show for their loyal supporters.

Whether Mourinho’s tenure at Old Trafford mirrors Fergie’s or not, there is one guarantee in all of this: it will be worth watching.

5 Things To Watch For In The Prem – Dec. 28

1) Win or lose, will Louis van Gaal be Manchester United’s manager Tuesday morning?
You may have heard, Manchester United haven’t won in seven. Even worse they’ve lost four in a row for the first time since 1961. And apparently, LVG wants out but his bosses won’t let him walk. Sounds like a movie script.

Even before Sunday’s reports, I didn’t see how LVG could survive another loss. He proved as recently as Brasil 2014 he can squeeze the best out of players. But not on a day-to-day club level. Jose Mourinho famously said years ago that national team jobs are for old men. LVG’s time at United is proof.

The squad has grown tired of his constant tinkering and self doubt. At best LVG has made United functional. At worst? Catastrophic. Expecting that to be sustainable is insane. And collectively, they’re just not good enough.

Doesn’t mean United can’t beat Chelsea 1-0. But either way, LVG has passed his best before date in club football. Time to kick back Louis. Lounge at the cabin in the Dutch countryside and wait for the right African country to pick up the phone and beg you to help them win in Russia. My money is on Algeria. Sorry Christian Gourcuff.

2) Guus 2.0
Guus Hiddink‘s situation is no where near as dire as his countryman’s. He knows he’s only back temporarily, as do the supporters. But Hiddink has been tasked with steering the club back towards the right direction. I wouldn’t want that gig. Chelsea will spend plenty next month. This result could go a long way in deciding who needs to come in, and who’s good enough to stay. Cesc Fabregas is expected to miss the match with a fever. Guus is probably better off.

3) Will Wayne Rooney start from the bench again?
One would assume no, but who really knows with this team right now. I’ve said all season long on the Soccer Central podcast that Rooney only features in that side because of his weekly wage bill and his previous accomplishments. But in 45 minutes at The Britannia on Saturday, he was the best forward thinking player in a United shirt. That’s really saying something about Memphis, Martial, Mata and Fellaini. They sound like a shitty skaw band. They were a shitty Premier League attack Saturday at Stoke. Mark Hughes said that United squad lacks character. That’s an understatement right now.

4) Will Arsenal return to the top of the table?
Hard to believe after Saturday’s failures on the south coast that they can with three points at home to Bournemouth. This is exactly the type of match Arsenal need to win convincingly to be champions come May. But they looked completely exhausted on Saturday. So, give Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Calum Chambers and Alex Iwobi starts? All three looked good off the bench. The Cherries are unbeaten in six and will play with nothing to lose. Great. This could be the most enjoyable match of the day.

5) Can Aston Villa finally win a match?
Call Monday’s tilt at Carrow Road ‘The Relegation Bowl.’ Or don’t. But that’s what it is. Three points in their last four should be impressive for post-Martin O’Neill Villa. But Remi Garde can’t settle for sharing the points anymore.

In those three 1-1 draws Villa showed, contrary to popular belief, that they are capable of putting the ball in the back of the net. They desperately need to more times than Norwich on Monday. Villa have won their last four with The Canaries. Three came at Carrow Road. So maybe, just maybe, Villa can find a way to win for the first time since opening day.

5 Things To Watch For In The Prem On Boxing Day

1) Which Liverpool side will show up for Leicester?
Remember when Jürgen Klopp’s side beat Man City 4-1, at The Etihad last month? Liverpool have won just once in the league since and only thanks to a James Milner penalty against Swansea, the week after. Not exactly the model of consistency.

While LFC have played more inspired football since Rodgers was sacked, they’re still a mess defensively. Which should have Jamie Vardy and Riyadh Mahrez licking their chops as they go to bed Friday night.

2) Can Arsenal avoid a repeat of last year’s New Years Day nightmare?
Last year Arsene Wenger‘s men travelled down to the South Coast with title aspirations, an easy task ahead in the last 16 of the Champions League and an injury crisis threatening to derail it all.

This year, only the Champions League task is different. But Arsenal‘s chance of lifting the Premier League trophy come May has never been better. They can’t afford another 2-0 loss.

3) What’s good for the Guus is good for the gander
It’s a cliche my grandfather often used, and one I haven’t heard in years. It means “justice has been served” or “one got what they deserved.” Roman thought leading his champions to the club’s worst ever league start was enough for Mourinho to lose his job. Chelsea supporters clearly didn’t feel that way.

Saturday Guus Hiddink will step in that Chelsea manager’s box for the first time in six years. But unlike last week when his lot of underachievers played to their potential, The Blues have a competent opponent to deal with. Watford come in with one of the hottest strikers in football at the moment, looking to win five in a row.

You can argue that despite their diabolical start, Mourinho didn’t deserve to be sacked. But is Hiddink the one that can serve justice? If he can’t on Saturday, he may never win the support of the Chelsea faithful.

4) You know what they say about a rainy Boxing Day at Stoke
Winless in six, losers of three in a row, with a fan base quickly beginning to believe a manager they once despised is the only one to lead them back to the promise land. Desperate times Louis. Remember what Mark Hughes’ did to their last visitors from Manchester?

It’s the early kickoff Saturday morning, but there’s enough reason for both United fans and the neutral to wake up for it.

5) How many can Man City put passed Sunderland?
Big Sam knew this job would be one of if not the most difficult he’s had. The schedule makers haven’t made it any easier. After inspiring Chelsea, Sunderland will hope to avoid boosting Man City‘s confidence ahead of their title deciding trip to Leicester on Tuesday. Younes Kaboul‘s hamstring injury has made life even more difficult for the Black Cats. Sergio Agüero has scored just seven times in 11 appearances. Not very good numbers compared to this season’s leaders from swashbuckling super powers Leicester and Watford.

This is exactly the type of match where Citeh prove how dangerous they can be. I don’t like to make predictions, but if you’re the betting type it would seem pretty safe to take the over.

5 Things We Learned From The Prem This Weekend – Dec. 21

I’m sure I’m not the only one that stayed up to watch Sepp Blatter‘s remarkable speech Monday morning? 

Sepp is the only man in the world that can make Donald Trump look good. Kept waiting for him to explain how strongly he feels the Washington Redskins shouldn’t have to change their name. 

1) Arsenal are ready to be champions

Titles aren’t decided before Christmas, I know. But Monday’s win over Man City was monumental. Not only did they take points off their only title threat, Arsenal proved they can beat the big clubs again. Staying healthy and continuing to beat the teams they should be beating week in and week out, will be the key to lifting the Premier League trophy over their heads come May. But what a confidence boost to take in to a busy Christmas period. 

2) Chelsea’s players f^&*ing hated Jose Mourinho
How else can you explain Branislav Ivanovic AND Pedro scoring within the first 13 minutes? You couldn’t have better scripted that match on Saturday. 

Stamford Bridge was one of the most bizarre places on planet Earth for 90 minutes. On the pitch a team that looked competent, let alone confident. With an urgency and an efficiency we haven’t seen since last May. And in the stands, you had a loyal fan base furious with ownership for sacking the man responsible for the worst start to a league season in their club’s history. Good luck with Guus.

3) Manchester United players taking page out of Chelsea’s book to get LVG sacked

We know the fans are unhappy with United‘s style of play recently. Isn’t that far fetched to think the players are as well. While just nine points off the top, United are declining in every aspect, except criticism. 

Norwich hadn’t won there in 26 years. That scoreline flattered United on Saturday. They let the Canaries take the game to them and never let the viewer the impression that they had any intent of winning. Dangerous spot for LVG to be in, and obviously from the ‘speculation gossip’ all weekend, he knows it. 

United visit Stoke on Boxing Day, then host Chelsea and Swansea. If they don’t take six points, hello Jose. 

4) If there was any doubt, Harry Kane is England’s only #9

Tottenham have quietly worked their way in to the Top 4. And after starting the year on an eight game goal drought, Harry Kane has scored 10 goals in his last 10 games. Hard to believe he’s already made 100 appearances for Spurs. He’s scored 47 goals for Tottenham now. His ratio? Nearly identical to Martin Chivers. There’s no need for Mauricio Pochettino to look to anyone else up front. And Roy Hodgson has no reason either. 

5) Odion Ighalo is incapable of staying off the scoresheet
Reminds you of another frontman on a recently promoted team that you expected very little from, doesn’t it? For those of you closely following the NFL this season, Odion Ighalo is the Kansas City Chiefs to Jamie Vardy’s… Perfect Panthers. If you get me, ya get me.

Nobody other than Quique is talking about Ighalo, and we bloody well should be. His 12 goals are a big reason Watford are comfortably in the top half of the table. That and the fact that their game plan is to run their opposition to death. Mamadou Sakho couldn’t keep pace with Ighalo, and Quique’s 4-4-2 works brilliantly with Troy Deeney next to him. Liverpool were never in that match Sunday.

And I’m so happy the Watford faithful got to enjoy that at Vicarage Road. This was their fourth straight league win, eighth of the season now, and against the best opposition they’ve beaten. Watford sit seventh in the table, four points better than Liverpool! Wow. The Golden Boys are fully deserving of the nickname this Christmas.

5 Things We Learned From The Prem This Weekend – Aug. 24

Most weeks I will post this before the Monday fixture, but this week I just had to wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. Seriously, how was there not ONE goal scored at The Emirates yesterday?

1) Man City look like champions
The Premier League season is a marathon, not a sprint. But after three challenging fixtures to open the season, City look as strong as ever. It’s easy to look at the team sheet and think “of course this team should take 9 points from 9,” but trips to The Hawthorns and Goodison are not easy. Did I mention they made the champions look like a newly promoted side? Citeh have improved on every level. It helps that Vincent Kompany and Yaya Toure are playing like it’s 2012 again. But MCFC deserve all the plaudits they’re getting at the moment. Sure, I’m not about to “crown their asses” to quote Dennis Green, but 9 top flight wins in a row is nothing to take lightly. Also, the first time they’ve done that since 1912. Expect Manny Pellegrini to bring that up if and when he’s on the hot seat come winter. Watford at home this weekend. Make it 10.

2) Just when you expect boatloads of goals, here’s a scoreless draw
Give me slippery conditions with two teams boasting goal hungry frontman, unflattering backlines, and two managers who can never be accused of playing for the “easy result,” and I’m betting the over every time. But as I’ve discussed before on this blog, I may just be the worst gambler in the world. Arsene Wenger‘s gamble of sticking with Petr Cech has clearly paid off. The former Chelsea #1 completely redeemed himself after his nightmare debut. Liverpool should have bagged two, if not three yesterday afternoon. Olivier Giroud has done nothing to shut up his critics, begging for Wenger to sign a world class striker before Monday’s deadline. Riyad Mahrez anyone?

3) Bournemouth belong at this level
What a way to earn your first win in the Premier League! Eddie Howe‘s men were finally rewarded for their efforts by treating us to the type of show we haven’t seen since Blackpool were up. Chaotic defending included. The match wasn’t as close as the 4-3 scoreline would suggest.

4) Christian Eriksen is more important to Tottenham than we thought
Without the magical little Dane, Harry Kane experienced what life was like for Christian Benteke and Darren Bent for years at Villa. Kane was alone, in 90 degree weather, for 90 minutes. Érik Lamela again proved that Daniel Levy considerably overpaid for him. Not only did the Argentine fail to contribute anything in place of Eriksen, 19 year-old Dele Alli completely outshined him.

5) Costel Pantilimon isn’t a useless giant
Without the Romanian in net against Swansea Saturday morning, Sunderland lose again. He made several key saves in addition to his early candidate for stop of the year when he denied Bafe Gombis his brace from close range.

NOTABLE MENTION
If Gomis is going to score every week, he has to get a new goal celebration. He’s ruining the Lion King for men with young children.

Pedro is going to prove he’s even better than we knew he was at Barcelona. I see him much like Luis Suarez when he moved to Liverpool from Ajax. A player who you knew to expect a lot from, but who could deliver more than you even dreamed of. If only he could play centre back as well…

West Ham had better hope that gambling on Slaven Bilić pays off. Back-to-back losses at home has West Ham fans fearing the worst. The Hammers don’t look anything like the side that beat Arsenal on matchday one. Kevin Nolan started up front next to Diafra Sakho FFS! Could you imagine what would happen in the East End if West Ham were relegated before moving in to the Olympic Stadium?

Claudio Ranieri has clearly adopted the “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” approach to managing. The Italian saw no need to make any changes to a team that won their opening two matches. The manager formerly known as ‘The Tinkerman’ fielded the exact same lineup for the third straight game. Prized signing Gökhan Inler sat on a bench amongst £30 million worth of talent. This is Leicester City we’re talking about! TV money had changed England as we know it.

I really think Liverpool will regret shipping Mario Balotelli off. I don’t know if he’ll bag 20 goals for Siniša Mihajlović. In fact, I expect the two to have a real tear up before Thanksgiving. Canadian Thanksgiving. But I do think that given the chance, Balo will prove his worth and that Liverpool will struggle to score goals for much of the season.

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5 Things We Learned From The Prem This Weekend – Aug. 16

1) Jose Mourinho is a sore loser. But you already knew that
I don’t think Jose realises how bad he makes himself look when he says things like yesterday’s 3-0 result was “completely fake.” Yes he has reason to complain that Fernandinho should’ve been sent off. And I did actually find his post-match comments “it has no relation with the result but it has a relation with the rules and the rules say [that in] minute one or minute 90, it was a red card,” to be quite clever. But blaming his team’s lack of effort on referee Martin Atkinson is pathetic. Even for Jose.

Chelsea were lifeless going forward. They offered so little, the Manchester papers are lauding Vincent Kompany and Eli Mangala as the Prem’s new “elite defensive duo.” (And Citeh may flip Mangala for Nicolás Otamendi? Ridiculous.) That might have been the worst match I have ever seen from Diego Costa. I sure hope Jose addresses that at Cobham this morning. God knows the media won’t ignore his substitution of John Terry, for the first time ever in fact, when quite blatantly Gary Cahill was the the one whom Sergio Agüero was running circles around.

The scapegoat for this loss? How about Jose himself. He gave the Blues an entire month off and played just three matches before the Community Shield. And we know it’s nothing but a holiday when Premier Leaguers enjoy a pre-season tour in the U.S.A. Man City have set the pace. And Chelsea are well off it.

2) United love winning with the most minimum effort required
Full credit to Sergio Romero for recording back-to-back clean sheets in a shirt nobody believes he deserves to be wearing. But Villa deserved something on Friday. And that’s not my bias talking. Yes the elite scale back their play on the road, but a championship team could shred Tim Sherwood‘s side apart. United didn’t seem capable of doing that. I don’t know what to make of Wayne Rooney up front. Was really surprised to see Adnan Januzaj in United’s starting XI for the first time since February. Juan Mata was brilliant. His vision has always been a strong point and Memphis Depay will regret not having bagged his first Premier League goal after the best pass he may have ever received.

3) Alexis Sánchez doesn’t need vacations
Rushed back into the starting XI thanks to Arsenal‘s pathetic performance at home to West Ham last week, Sánchez barely had a holiday after helping Chile to win their first Copa América. He wasn’t even supposed to feature in the squad this month. Bit short of options are ya Arsene? Wenger called him a “fighter”. We know he’s just their best player, making probably £100k a week so those performances are expected.

4) Dick Advocaat has already lost the room
It’s like a race up there on Wearside to see who can do it first! If ever a team deserved to be relegated after two matches, it’s Sunderland. After Sunderland‘s pathetic effort at home to Norwich, a forlorn Advocaat admitted his side “are not a team” and openly questioned why “they can not bring it”. My what a difference a few months makes. Swansea visit the Stadium of Depression this weekend. Forget the boos. If the Black Cats play like that again, they might have to worry about being hit with bags of piss.

5) Carl Jenkinson is a better keeper than Petr Cech
Well, if clean sheets are the only measurement, then yes that statement is true. Chelsea fans were quick to troll Gooners after the former Gunner put the gloves on for the final few minutes of West Ham‘s 2-1 loss at home to Leicester. Adrián‘s boot through Jamie Vardy not quite as impressive as Nigel De Jong‘s kung fu kick on Xabi Alonso in the World Cup final, but thrilling nonetheless.

NOTABLE MENTION
Harry Kane is this year’s Raheem Sterling. Mauricio Pochettino explained that Kane was tired & could not play 90 minutes. Oh boy. Here we go again. He’ll look good in City blue next year though. They haven’t had a frontman with as likeable a haircut since Craig Bellamy. Is he still on their books? Most likely.

It’s going to get worse before it gets better for Newcastle. They lost at the Liberty Stadium in nine minutes. And now The Magpies will finish the month against Man United and Arsenal. Good luck with that Stevey.

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Monday Morning Thoughts – Aug. 3

Since I took the weekend off, let me get a few thoughts out of the way first:

1) How the hell is it already August?

2) Holy shit Ronda Rousey is good at her job! Like most, I didn’t know a thing about Bethe Correia before their UFC 190 fight. But every time I saw her she reminded of the crazy woman depicted in any movie set in a female prison. Ever. The Mike Tyson comparisons are fully deserved. Rousey is the face of MMA. At it’s height six years, who would have ever guessed Dana White would need a woman to sustain UFC’s success?

3) Thanks a lot David Price for raising the price of popcorn at Rogers Centre by $3 a bag with your ringing endorsement.

MLB
Hands up if you would like to see the Blue Jays play the Royals in October? Tempers boiled over in yesterday’s series finale as the Royals recognized their moment as the new “unexpectedly good” guys on the block, may be over after one magical season. Umpire Jim Wolf let the ballgame get out of hand. Josh Donaldson was right to be as upset as he was. Edinson Volquez thrives on getting under the skin of his opposition. And Ned Yost loves players who do that. Alex Anthopoulos did everything he could last week to make the Blue Jays a postseason team. They just took three of four off the team that was one win away from winning the World Series last October. Looking good Jays. On to the Twins. I fear I’ll have to line up at Rogers Centre by 11am to get a Russell Martin bobblehead today. Is any mass produced sports collectible worth that?

I think the New York Mets may just win the NL East. They’re playing for each other. There’s a real sense of unity with that team right now. And all the pressure is on the Washington Nationals.

If only Andrew McCutchen had $1 million for every time he got hit with a pitch.

The Angels slide is very entertaining. Swept in the Freeway Series, the Halos have lost six in a row and nine of 10. Is there any one that wouldn’t rather see the Houston Astros win the AL West? Far too many times Mike Scioscia‘s team was just given division titles. Never expected it would be the Astros to make em earn it.

SOCCER
Did you think Jose Mourinho was going to congratulate Arsene Wenger for beating him for the first time in 14 tries? Jose’s response was typically Jose. Snubbing the handshake. Downplaying the Community Shield’s relevance to the new season. But throwing the loser’s medal in to the stands, is a new low. Even for Jose. Having said all that, a part of me thinks Mourinho really does see Arsenal as a threat this season. The Gunners have improved in areas they needed to. Winning the FA Cup again was a huge confidence boost for the squad. This is not the same team that failed to contend last season. I can not believe the Premier League starts this weekend. I’m not ready.

Is Angel Di Maria really just 75% of the player he was when Manchester United bought him?  Buying him for less than £60 million last season, even though a British record, was seen as a coup for United. After one less than fruitful season they turn around and sell him for less than £45 million? Something doesn’t make sense here. When PSG cruise through the group stage and are even money favourites to win the Champions League at Christmas, LVG will never hear the end of it. If he’s even still there.

I lost so much respect for Christian Benteke. No not because he left Aston Villa. And not because of what he wrote in his latest Liverpool loving Instagram post. Simply because of that hashtag. No self respecting adult should ever use the #NowWatchMeNaeNae

Did you know Atletico Madrid were so beloved in China? Neither did I.

NFL
I don’t think Chip Kelly is a racist. But I do think there’s truth to what Brandon Boykin and LeSean McCoy are saying. Is it shocking to think that a 51 year-old guy from New Hampshire that only coached college until two years ago struggles to relate to his NFL players? Most people on this planet can’t actually relate to pro athletes. Kelly said Boykin was blindsided and disappointed about being traded. Boykin felt ignored by his head coach. The real problem is that Kelly isn’t Andy Reid. That sentence right there explains that entire Eagles locker room.

Completely unrelated: was McCoy at Caribana this weekend?

If Richie Incognito is the best option Rex Ryan has to play at left guard, than Incognito deserves to start. If Ryan brought Incognito in to his new environment because he believes the 320-pounder deserves a second chance, than Ryan is an idiot.

Russell Wilson “Carmelo Anthony‘d” the Seahawks. They had to give them that money. Should he be the second highest-paid quarterback in the NFL? No. Could they have gotten to two Super Bowl’s without him? Possibly. But, part of the reason the Seahawks have been so competitive is that they did not have to pay a QB a fortune. The rest of the team will feel all that money going to one position. Could be a really rough start to the season for Wilson. His offensive line is half as good as it was last year and everyone will be looking for him to fail, and blame it on the money. People just jealous that he’s dating Ciara. I know I am.

OLYMPICS
It’s about time the IOC starts testing Rio’s disease infested waters. Let’s be honest, the Brasilian government will throw gallons of chlorine and masking agents into the water a month before and tell everyone the coast is fine. Then a tuna will walk out of the water on two legs and eat Brian Williams.