2016/17 Premier League season preview (11-15)

15) SWANSEA
It seems every year that the Swans are a bit of an enigma. Last season Garry Monk wasn’t given long enough to solve things. In comes Francesco Guidolin and while he started with a bang, Swansea fizzled out to finish 12th.

This year the question is, can the new acquisitions replace the key pieces lost? After Wales surprised at Euro 2016, captain Ashley Williams was bound to leave, and did for Everton. The Swans pocketed a cool £20.5 million for Andre Ayew, then eagerly turned around and spent a club record £15.5 million on 23-year-old Borja Bastón.

If you’re thinking, “I’ve watched enough of Atletico Madrid over the last few years, I’ve never heard of this guy.” That’s because he spent the last five seasons on loan. But having scored 18 La Liga goals at Eibar last year, and 22 at Real Zaragoza the season before, you can see why Huw Jenkins was willing to spend the cash. Which really shows plenty of ambition, having already signed European champion and World Cup winner Fernando Llorente from Sevilla. The forgotten Spaniard scored four times in just 14 starts last season. Playing behind Kevin Gameiro, that’s not a fair reflection of what Llorente has left in the tank.

But spending money doesn’t guarantee success. This squad seems like more of a random collection of players than the cohesive units that Swansea have rolled out in years past. It’s nice to start the season v Burnley, because I feel like this will be a long one for Franky G & co.

14) WEST BROM
The Baggies were happy to take that Chinese money this summer, but their offseason takeover may have stalled Tony Pulis‘ improvement plans. What continues to stall Saido Berahino‘s exit, I do not understand. Maybe West Brom take pleasure in denying the 23-year-old a pre-season with his new club? I don’t fault them for that.

Matt Phillips came over from QPR, and should do well to support Salomón Rondón. Their attack needs to be better. West Brom won’t get away with scoring just four times over their final nine matches if the table is as tight as it was last season. The midfield is old. The backline is tired. This is a really boring team.

But that’s exactly the way Tony Pulis likes it. And what have we learned about Tony Pulis? He does just enough to get the results that will keep you up. And with the TV money that’s going around, that’s the Champions League trophy in the Midlands.

13) SOUTHAMPTON
You cannot lose your best players AND manager, year after year and continue to finish in the Top 10 in the best league in the world.

Southampton finished three points off a Champions League place last season and still couldn’t keep their best. Liverpool happily splashed £30 million for Sadio Mané. Old boss Mauricio Pochettino swooned Victor Wanyama to Tottenham for £11 million. And it really didn’t matter what Ralph Krueger was willing to do for Graziano Pellè. Ya can’t beat the Chinese.

Claude Puel seems like the perfect replacement though. Beloved in France as a “builder”, he’s willing to give young players a chance. Enjoys attractive football. Nearly got Nice, a team with considerably less resources than the giants they chase every season, in to the Champions League last season. Fits the Southampton model very well, really.

Their backline remains the same, and now boasts two European champions in captain José Fonte and right-back Cédric Soares. Ryan Bertrand made my Best XI at the end of last season. If Charlie Austin and Shane Long can combine for at least 25 goals, Southampton will manage. But the heights of last season are out of reach.

12) MIDDLESBROUGH
The Teessiders are back in the big time and Aitor Karanka wants you to know it!

After walking out on the club last season, one would assume Mourinho‘s former #2 is on a short leash. He’s surrounded himself with players he can comfortably freak out on in his native language. Five of Boro’s nine summer signings, and there could still be more, are Spanish speaking. Victor Valdés is out to prove he can still play at the top level and gives Boro a great chance to stay in every match. But Dutch central midfielder Marten de Roon has anyone that enjoys bone crunching tackles excited. His £12 million move from Atalanta was a bit of a coup.

Few strikers are worth £100,000 a week, but Álvaro Negredo convinced Boro after his time at Manchester City that he is one of them. £9 million for a player with that potential is an absolute steal. Linking up with Gaston Ramirez, Boro could steal plenty of points off opponents that become complacent late on.

11) SUNDERLAND
For the first time in years, there is one standout feeling at the Stadium of Light: stability. And that is a good thing for both Sunderland and David Moyes.

The club’s carousel of managers over the last few years has made the Serie A look normal. Moyes is the seventh in the last five seasons. And while this is his third club in the last four years, this is the first job to best suit his skill set since Everton. That alone leads me to believe he’ll be alright this time around. If he can’t get something out of Jack Rodwell, no one can.

Gone are Steven Fletcher, Wes Brown, Ola Toivonen, Adam Matthews, Santiago Vergini, Danny Graham and Will Buckley. But so too is Emmanuel Giaccherini and I don’t think you need to be a Sunderland fan to have wanted to see what he might do in the Premier League after a stellar Euro.

Yes, on paper this team is worse than the one that barely stayed up last season. But with Moyes in charge, whoever the eleven men on the pitch may be, will have to give their all and bleed for this club. That’s something they haven’t had in years. So I guess I’m betting against the odds and giving Moyes the benefit of the doubt, something he deserves after all his years of overachieving with Everton.

Be sure to check back soon. Predicted finishes 6-10 coming next

Adios ‘Arry

You know not to call him a “wheeler n’ dealer”. But it’s going to be weird not to call Harry Redknapp a football manager anymore.

After 26 months at Loftus Road, Redknapp’s time at QPR is over. And I’d bet my money, that so is his career.

It wasn’t that long ago that we were talking about ‘Arry as “the only man for England!” Having been passed over for his country’s top job, and pushed aside by Tottenham, the decline began.

In hindsight, that was inevitable. But few men have a way with words like Harry Redknapp and his resolve and ability to beat the odds made him seem a bit invincible – in that drunk uncle kind of way.

How many managers will be able to look back on their careers and say they won hearts like ‘Arry, broke hearts as quickly as ‘Arry, and then somehow managed to win them back?

He was the best soundbite the media could ask for.

His claim Tuesday that he’s leaving the job now because of an immediate need for knee surgery is already being described as one of the best excuses of all time! Sometimes it was a nightmare to find the 15 second clip you needed for your show through his three minutes of babble. But when a mic was in front of ‘Arry, you knew eventually you’d get something pretty decent you could use.

Taking Tottenham to the Champions League and two top four finishes was the pinnacle, but his time on the South Coast is the period that will stand out most in the minds of those old enough to have witnessed ‘Arry grow with each job.

What he pulled off in his second stint at Portsmouth will be remembered as one of the most remarkable stretches of any manager in the modern era. I still can’t explain how Pompey managed to win the FA Cup. So sad to see what happened to that club in the years after. ‘Arry may be looked at by those in Portsmouth as the kiss of death, but at least Nwankwo Kanu knows he’ll never have to pay for a drink in that town for as long as he lives.

I remember co-hosting The Footy Show podcast the day Redknapp replaced Juande Ramos and will never get how emphatically, yet simply, Kristian Jack explained what it meant. “Tottenham fans went to bed last night fearing their club will be relegated this season. They woke up this morning knowing they’re staying up.”

He was right. ‘Arry kept them up and took them from being a darkhorse pick every season to an actual top four contender. He made mistakes along the way, and of course had more than his fair share of luck, but Redknapp was on top of the world, waiting to rescue the next team that so desperately needed his magic touch: England.

That didn’t happen. The FA saw Roy as the better choice and from then on Redknapp was never quite the same. He grew more impatient with the media, and seemingly with his players. Although, if you were tasked with managing the lot he had at QPR you would have a difficult time controlling your temper as well.

Perhaps his time at QPR can be summed up best by describing him with one word: human.

The legend of ‘Arry had grown so large it seemed he could even find a way to fix the Edmonton Oilers if given the chance. But with Tony Fernandes’ chequebook graciously open, ‘Arry made poor overpaid signing after overpaid signing leaving QPR fans to wonder if they’ll be a yo-yo club forever. Although with the financial gloom that will come if they are relegated again, many must fear they’re on pace to end up like Portsmouth themselves.

It does seem a bit odd that a former Spurs boss is tipped to be his replacement. I guess Tim Sherwood isn’t actually worried that following in Redknapp’s footsteps might result in the same fate. He couldn’t be any more unlike Redknapp, really. And that’s telling in it’s own right.

‘Arry is amongst the last of a dying breed of old school, football smart, managers. Man, I am going to miss him.

Thanks for the memories ‘Arry!

Premier League Matchweek 22 – Three Things to Watch

1) How well Jermain Defoe’s spy job worked
The former TFC frontman spent the holiday season training with his old mates at Enfield and will likely start against them Saturday in his Sunderland debut. We already know he’s going to score. Safe to assume the universe is broken if he doesn’t since he has in every club debut.

Seeing as Defoe and Gus Poyet share the same agent, I think this was the only move on the horizon. Despite the allure of Sexy Leicester or returning to London to reunite with goal deprived ‘Arry.

Black Cats supporters just hope Defoe is in fact “the best January signing ever” as some are already calling it. I guess those people don’t see his stat line of two goals in his past 1,262 minutes of Premier League football as a problem?

Sunderland are paying a pretty penny. But one can’t put a value on staying up. It’s funny to think that Defoe has only bettered himself financially since being dropped from the England squad and leaving Tottneham. At Sunderland he’ll reportedly earn £80,000 a week – £20k more than they were paying Altidore.

Poyet can also say goodbye to his preferred 4-1-4-1 formation. No way that works with Jermain “create for me” Defoe in the squad.

2) Can Arsenal play like a top team, against one?
There will be a chapter written in Arsene Wenger’s career obituary on the topic. But for as long as Arsenal continue to finish in the Top 4 without doing so, that’s a question that will always be asked. Until they do.

Yaya Toure is away at the African Nations Cup taking away a valuable weapon from Manny’s midfield. But if Sergio Aguero is fit in time for Sunday, then the odds heavily swing in the champions’ favour.

City are unbeaten in 14, but not many of those results have been very convincing. Arsenal can get a result this weekend if they’re stubborn defensively, and creative with their counter attack.

3) Will injuries send Southampton on a slump?
After last weekend’s historic win, Saints fans will be ecstatic if they can grab just a point against Newcastle.

No Wanyama. No Schneiderlin. No Alderweireld. Big problems? Potentially.

Florin Gardos has shown in his brief opportunities that he’s a bit special. With Toby “tats” Alderweireld out now, we will see just how skilled he really is.

3 Things We Learned From The Prem This Weekend – Nov. 24

If you headbutt a taller man, you won’t get sent off because you’re physically incapable of making head-to-head contact
Seriously, how did Jack Wilshere get away with that on Saturday?

Marouane Fellaini’s height has worked to his advantage many times in his career. That might have been the first time it worked against him.

Funny that Young Jack played so disciplined in his defensive midfield role for England last week but played it like a pissed off idiot with an Arsenal shirt on.

United had no business winning that match. In my last blog I wrote “there’s no way Arsenal lose this”. I’m ok with being wrong with my predictions. But I’m not ok watching good teams throw it away. The key word in that sentence is that Arsenal are simply a good team. Saturday proved just how far they still are from being great.

GoonerLand is turning on Arsene Wenger, again. If they underperform against Dorttmund on Wednesday, Wenger might just lose the board’s faith finally as well.

Crystal Palace would be a Top 4 side if they could play Liverpool every weekend
I wasn’t expecting much from Liverpool at Selhurst but like Brendan Rodgers, I was expecting more than that.

It started so well. But after half an hour Liverpool looked just as flat and uninspired as they have all season. And now here LFC are having lost four in a row for the first team in five years.

That was just Palace’s second win in 11 PL meetings with LFC, and separated by over 10yrs!

Paul Lambert is getting greedy
Villa have the worst goal scoring record in the Premier League. Up 1-0 on the best defensive team in the country, and you take off your World Cup calibre defensive midfielder Carlos Sanchez, to throw Darren Bent on in search of another goal? I don’t think he even touched the ball!

A win over the second place team in the table would have done wonders for Villa’s confidence and might have just turned the club back in the right direction. My bias aside, Villa are a decent side. Their problem over the last few years is that they’ve become incapable of playing well for a full 90 minutes.

NOTABLE MENTION
If Dwight Gayle could replicate a fraction of his success versus Liverpool against everybody else, he’d be a very rich man. A speedy and underrated but inconsistent striker, the former Dagenham & Redbridge frontman has bagged four goals in three matches against the Reds. Remarkable.

It’s interesting to see how Harry Kane helps Roberto Soldado. By creating space for the rare-firing Spaniard, Soldado had a couple of chances away to Hull on Sunday that he never would have had last season. If they both can get on the scoresheet consistently, Spurs will be alright.

Remember when Gaston Ramirez was good? It was such a coup for Southampton when they bought him from Bologna. But his game has only declined since moving to England. He wasn’t guilty of “violent conduct” on Sunday. But his reaction was pathetic. He is not the type of player (like Jack Wilshere) that will get the calls to go his way in those situations. I’d be surprised if he walks back into the side when his suspension is up.

Premier League matchweek 12 – Three Things to Watch

Rejoice. The international break is over.

Players have returned to their clubs meaning doubt and cynicism can return to our conversations. Unless you’re Southampton, then everything is just peachy because every win from here on out is a bonus.

Here are three things to watch for this weekend.

Arsenal 8-2 Manchester United
Stranger things have happened. Now, plenty would have to happen to see a final scoreline like that. We’re not going to get it, but I know I’ve simultaneously hooked and pissed off all of you United fans reading this.

Remember at the start of the season when Louis Van Gaal boldly said “judge me in three months”? I hope he doesn’t look at a calendar this week, otherwise he might not voluntarily show up for work again.

Regardless of how many they win by, I can’t see how Arsenal lose on Saturday. United could field a squad with their injured list. That’s funny. Because they couldn’t. Point is, they haven’t hit top form even with their shiny new toys. I can’t see how they could without them.

Arsenal get one back. Olivier Giroud is three or four weeks ahead of schedule. Wenger would be mad to start him.

a) Because a normal human body should not recover from a broken leg 21 to 28 days ahead of time and b) because Danny Welbeck has been stellar and doesn’t deserve to be relegated to the wing just yet.

If Ryan Giggs doesn’t suit up to play I’m going to freak out.

How the Chelsea faithful treat Jose Mourinho
“Playing here is like playing in an empty stadium.” – Jose Mourinho. November 1st.

Saturday’s visit from West Brom will be the first match since The Special One basically called Stamford Bridge the Air Canada Centre.

Considering the average match ticket is north of £55 there’s actually plenty of reason to mention the two in the same sentence. However, Jose fails to acknowledge that while his teams can be incredibly successful, they’re not always the most entertaining. The bottom line is when someone is paying to attend a “Premier League Show” in person, they do so with the desire to be entertained.

Wouldn’t it be nice to see Chelsea fans treat Mourinho like Steve Kean or Rafa just for a match?

The ratings Monday Night Football gets this week
No second place team is less sexy for a prime time kickoff than Southampton.

That isn’t fair because their play is tantalizing. Still, there’s a good chance this match won’t match the ratings of 7 minutes of Judge Judy on any Monday afternoon.

Did I mention they visit Aston Villa? Make it 6 minutes.

Premier League matchweek 10: Five Things to Watch

The Manchester Derby
I was going to start with a paragraph about Leicester’s backline just to mess with you, but I do want you to keep coming back to this site.

Premier League matches have averaged 2.89 goals a game this season. Safe bet we’ll get more than a few Sunday at The Etihad with the way LVG’s defense has played this year and the fact that Man City are due to finally play like champions.

For some reason, playing away is just like the Champions League for City. They just can’t find it in themselves to play as well as they do at home. On Sunday, they’ll be home and charged with the energy we’ve come to expect in a Manc derby. Samir Nasri could be the key man, should he be good to go.

Radamel Falcao and Angel Di Maria have yet to look like the elite players they are when wearing that Man United shirt, but they can pencil themselves into United folklore with big performances in their first derby. They’ll need to be impressive, otherwise there will be plenty of United fans calling in sick for work on Monday.

Will Mario Balotelli remember how good he is?
Coming off back-to-back wins, and with the superior advantage of playing in one of the best party towns in the world, Newcastle should like their chances tomorrow morning. Add to the fact that the Reds too are coming off a midweek Capital One Cup tie and likely will have one eye on their Champions League trip to Madrid, and my gut says Ladbrokes will be taking far less money on LFC than they normally do.

How much Arsenal want to win by
Burnley followed up three impressive clean sheets by allowing 12 goals in their last 4. The Clarets are also just the 12th side not to win even one of their opening nine matches. Alexis Sanchez has produced eight goals in his last 10 starts and should have another speedy winger to help him out, should Theo Walcott actually be fit enough to start. The Gunners haven’t been overly impressive at home this season. Expect that to change this weekend.

Can Aston Villa score a goal?
Villa are the ninth different side to lose five Premier League games in a row without scoring a single goal. It’s pretty pathetic, but bias aside I think they’ll actually get one against Spurs.

Villa were better than the scoreline for most of an hour and a half at Loftus Road. Christian Benteke is bound to return to his stellar form with more play. And Tottenham are just too Jekyll and Hyde for me to think they’ll walk all over Villa the way Arsenal and Chelsea did.

If Villa could somehow take all three points, Mauricio Pochettino will have a “crisis” on his hands that I don’t think his English is ready for.

If Hull are Southampton’s banana skin
Given my incredibly limited vocabulary and their fitting strip, I’m surprised I don’t use that line for Hull every week they play a better side!

Ronald Koeman’s DreamLand has to come to an end sooner or later, doesn’t it? Don’t let me piss on your party Saints fans. What you’ve accomplished this season is truly remarkable. Just five goals conceded after nine matches, better than all of the other 91 professional clubs in England. Slow clap for you Ralph Krueger. The Oilers are wondering why you didn’t have the same success with them.